drifting away...

Dear Zachary,

Two years ago today, your Dad and I were sitting in a hospital room anxiously awaiting your arrival.  You surprised us about 12:00 the night before, letting me know you were ready to start your journey into the world.  It was a moment we had been waiting for for so long that it almost felt surreal.   Words cannot describe the joy we felt when we finally were able to see your beautiful face.

In two short years, you have grown from a helpless infant who required constant care into a very independent little boy.  You still need Mom and Dad quite a lot, but you are doing more and more on your own these days.  I'm no longer allowed to close doors or feed the cats when you are around.  If I don't let you do those things, you become very unhappy.  One of your favorite phrases here lately is "Do it!" meaning, "I want to do it and you better let me!"  If I don't let you do it, you break out into tantrum mode, which is not pleasant.

You are getting closer and closer to speaking in full sentences.  You can string several words together now and repeat after Daddy and I when we help you say your prayers.  It is still amazing to me when we have an actual conversation with each other.  I love that you can tell me what you want and need most of the time.  I haven't quite managed to translate all of your words though, and when I don't understand you it gets pretty frustrating for both of us.  I'm still working on it and one of these days soon we'll get it all figured out.

I miss your baby days already, I am really enjoying watching you grow and learn.  Just this last weekend, we took your crib/toddler bed apart and stowed it away.  Now in it's place stands a set of bunk beds, where I'm sure you'll spend many nights chatting with your cousins, friends, or possibly even a little brother or sister in the future.  You look so tiny in that big bed, but I know you are ready for it.  You were so excited when we brought them home and even took a nap on your new big boy bed before I could get the sheets on it.

The next big step we have to make is to get you potty trained.  You are getting closer and closer every day to being ready.  In fact, just last night you did so well that you got to wear real underwear for the first time.  You were so proud of yourself that you promptly peed in them.  You have to learn somehow though, right?  After that, you stayed dry until bedtime when I changed you back into a diaper.  I have a feeling it won't be long, but I'm sure I have my work cut out for me for a few more months.  One thing I won't miss is changing diapers.

One of the things that I really love about you right now is the way you enjoy music.  Your favorite song right now is "Boom, Boom, Ain't It Great to Be Crazy" and every time we get in the car you ask for "boom boom".  You sing along whenever you can, which is most of the time since you seem to learn the words very fast.  When you aren't listening to music, you are creating it.  You love to strum your guitar (or Mommy and Daddy's guitars) and make up your own songs on the spot.

It seems that you learn something new every day, and believe it or not, I'm learning right along with you.  Watching you play and enjoy life has taught me that I need to slow down sometimes and just enjoy the moments that surround me.  It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine that I tend to forget what life is all about.  You, my son, are teaching me constantly to stop and laugh and just enjoy the time that I have.  Sometimes, when I sit back and just watch you playing, I am just so in awe.  It is hard to believe that I created something so amazing.

I guess I can no longer call you my baby, although in my heart you always will be.  You are now my big boy, a big boy who jumps, sings, dances, jokes, plays, laughs, and loves (and gives great zerberts!).  You are my big boy, who can melt my heart with a simple hug and kiss and make my heart ache with a single cry.  Being able to watch you grow into the man that I know you will someday become, is the greatest gift I have ever been given.  I love you.  Happy Birthday, my big boy!

Love always,
Mama

I know not many people find their way here anymore as I don't really write anything other than a monthly update on the kid.  But, if you do find your way here and you want to see what I've been up to, follow this link .

Dear Zachary,

Yesterday you turned 13 months old.  I have three words for you that pretty much sum up this month.  MOLARS. FROM. HELL. Seriously, don't you think it is about time to let those things come on through and join the other 8 teeth?  I'm sure they would love to have a little company in that big mouth of yours.  There is plenty of room.  Plus, then we can start feeding you chunks of steak and such that require actual chewing. 

Thanks to those teeth, your usual appetite has really dwindled.  Well, it's either the teeth or you just decided to slow down a little with the growing, which is okay becuase that means I don't have to buy so many clothes.  But, you used to eat pretty much anything I set in front of you and here lately you aren't interested in food much at all.  It gets a little frustrating for me because I used to be able to give you a snack to settle you down when I needed a few minutes to use my hands.  Now you just want to be held all the time, unless I want to hold you and then you want down.

The teeth are also really disrupting my nightly routine.  Before the molars interuppted, you were going to bed around 8:00 every night.  I took you in your room, turned on your little light up music playing thingie, gave you a pacifier, and put you down in your crib.  You then would roll over and go to sleep, usually without any crying or fussing.  These days I'm lucky to get you down by 9:00, and that is after an hour of screaming, snuggling, rocking, Tylenol, and Orajel. This leaves only about an hour before Mommy crashes to do the household chores and spend time with Daddy.  I really miss that extra hour.

The upside to you going to bed so late, is that you are sleeping later in the morning.  I have to actually wake you up in the mornings now instead of rushing through my shower and hoping you don't wake up before I have a chance to throw some clothes on.  When I do come to get you up, you sit up in your crib with a huge smile on your face.  Then you stand up and jump up and down until I reach in to grab you up and give you a hug.  That is my absolute favorite time in the morning.  I'm not a morning person at all, but you always help to start my day out right.

You are getting to be such a big boy all of a sudden.  These days I have a hard time calling you a a baby anymore.  You really are a toddler now.  Even though your words aren't very clear yet, you still manage to tell me what you want most of the time.  You are getting very good at pointing to your cup when you want a drink, or to Daddy's guitar when you want him to play for you (which is pretty much all the freakin' time).  You have also finally learned how to turn yourself around and back down off of couches, chairs, and beds so Mommy doesn't get quite so scared when she sees you heading for the edge.

It really makes me quite sad to see how fast you are growing up.  But, at the same time I am so proud of everything you have accomplished in your short life.  I absolutely love watching you grow up and change.  Recently you have started mimicking Daddy and I, especially when we laugh or make a weird noise.  It is so much fun to listen to you.  I can't think of a better sound than the sound of you laughing.

I really hope that someday you will read this and have at least a little bit of an idea of how much I really, truly, deeply, love you.  It is so hard to convey in words the feelings that are in my heart.  You are an amazing little boy and no matter how frustrated I may get with you at times, I hope you always know that it is out of love.

Love always,

Mama

I know this is a week late now, but I just finally got a chance to finish writing it and choose from the hundreds of pictures I've taken this month.

June 26, 2006

Dear Zachary,

One year ago today I was lying in a hospital bed waiting for your arrival. I was so anxious to see your face I could barely stand it. When you were finally born and I got to see your face for the first time I was instantly in love. I'm not sure I even knew that such a strong feeling could exist before that moment happened. I remember looking up at your Daddy and thinking that he must be feeling the same thing.

In only twelve short months you have changed from a completely helpless infant to a walking, climbing, talking toddler. Every month I think to myself that this age must be the best age. Then the next month I am surprised when I think the same thing again. Every little stage you go through is so much fun to experience.

During the last month you have really changed. You started walking on your own and even though you are still a little wobbly at times, you can pretty much get wherever you want to. Daddy and I have let you have a little more freedom in the house and you love to walk around and explore.

Along with the walking has come more and more climbing. I think you must be pretty intelligent because you can always figure out a way to get to those things that are just out of your reach. I love watching you use your toys to stand on so you can get just a little bit higher. One day I was sitting on the couch typing on my computer and before I knew it you climbed up into my lap. I was so surprised to see you up there.

My absolute favorite thing these days is to sit around and just listen to you talk. It is really just babble, but you seem to think you are having a totally legitimate conversation. Most of the time you are saying something like "dabba dabba dabba" like you are on the Flinstones or something. Sometimes you ask us questions and point at an object, but we're not quite sure what you are asking. I wish I knew because I would love to be able to answer you correctly. You have learned how to tell Daddy and I what you want. You point with your finger and say words that we can't understand, but we can usually figure out what you mean. When we can't you are quick to let us know that we didn't do the right thing.

Recently you have developed a favorite blankie. I made you a nice, soft, fleece blanket for your bedroom because it tends to get a little chilly in there in the winter. I never expected you to become so attached to it. It seems to be your comfort item. All I have to do is wrap you up in your blankie, give you a pacifier, and rock you a little bit to send you off to dreamland. It was really nice to have when we traveled to Arizona this month because I could easily get you down for a nap or bedtime.

Dinnertime has become very interesting with you lately. We've been working hard trying to get you to eat from a plate and use a fork or spoon. You really like the fork, but don't really use it to eat with. You would rather play with it and throw it at Zeke. You really seem to have no use at all for the plate. You prefer instead to dump the food off of it and toss it in the floor. Sometimes (when I'm lucky) you hand the plate to me instead of tossing it. Then, once the food is dumped out on your highchair tray you like to smash it up real good with your hands. You have also decided that you have no use for bibs anymore so dinnertime is always nice and messy as well.

We had your birthday party a day early since your birthday was on a Monday. It was a Baby Einstein themed party. All of our family that lives close by was there plus most of our good friends. We had a barbeque where you chowed down on hot dogs and cheetos. Then we opened presents before letting you dig into your cake. You got a lot of really cool learning toys that will be good for you to play with now and as you get a little older. You had a great time eating your cake. You got to have your own little individual cake and tried to stuff the whole thing in your mouth at once. I think we had as much fun watching you as you had eating it.

This year, I have felt things that I never knew it was possible to feel. You have enriched my life and brought happiness to our family in so many ways. Every day that you are in my life, I feel like the luckiest mom in the whole world. I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us in the coming year. I love you so much!

Love always,
Mama

I absolutely HATE MySpace.  I have always hated it, since the first time I heard of it.  I hate the whole concept of being cool based on how many "friends" you have.  But, at the same time I do kind of like the whole community aspect.  Last weekend I found out that one of my best friends signed up for MySpace.  Then I went to the reunion and heard that a couple more people had MySpace pages.  So, I caved.  I gave in.  I signed up so I could comment on their pages and now I'm a follower.  If you are on MySpace, stop by and say hi.  You can find me here.

Before I went on vacation, I also got an invite for VOX, the new multimedia blogging platform from Six Apart.  Vox is still a work in progress, but they needed people to test it out before the final release.  I've been playing around with it and so far I love it.  One of the greatest features of Vox is that you can upload your photos, videos, music, etc. to share with everyone.  It is somewhat similar to MySpace in that it has a huge emphasis on community.  When you find other friends or bloggers you enjoy, you can add them to your neighborhood. 

The reason I'm telling you this is that my "neighborhood" is looking pretty lonely right now.  I would like to send invites out to any of you that might be interested in checking out Vox.  Right now, I have only 2 standard invites that will allow you full access including a blog.  I also have unlimited starter invites that allows you a member profile, neighborhood, and commenting privileges.  As Vox grows, the starter accounts will change over to standard accounts.

So, if you are interested in checking out Vox, leave me a comment or send me an e-mail and I will get you hooked up.  If you want to take a look around first, please check out my page here.

One year ago today I was in a hospital bed anxiously awaiting his arrival.  Today I have the most awesome 1-year-old ever.  We celebrated his birthday yesterday with all of our family and friends.  He enjoyed every minute of it and REALLY enjoyed his cake! 

There are a few pictures posted to Flickr , but will be many more as soon as I have time to get them up.  Sometime this week I'll be posting the one-year letter, a little about our trip to Phoenix last week, and my 10-year reunion.  But for now, I gotta try to get caught up at work.

Dear Zachary,

It has been eleven months now since the day that we first met. You would think that I would know you pretty well by now, but you still continue to surprise me every day. Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and do something completely different than what I am expecting. You really surprised me one night when I looked up to see you standing all by yourself without holding on to anything but your sippy cup.

One of the most exciting things I have noticed about you recently is that you have started reacting to praise, which also means you are starting to understand words and physical cues a little better. You have been trying really hard to get some new words out, but I still can't understand most of what you say. Sometimes it sounds as if you are trying to imitate the words I say and other times it just sounds like jibberish. One word you definitely understand is no. Every time I say "no" to you, you start saying "nonononononononono& quot; and shake your head. I never realized that I was shaking my head when I said no until you started doing it too. Now I catch myself doing it all the time. It's just too bad you don't comply and stop whatever you are doing when I use that word. I suppose that will come with time...hopefully.

I have really been having fun praising you when you do something good. Every time you do something new I now have to clap my hands and say "yay Zach" and you get so excited. You just think it is the coolest thing ever and when you do the same action again, you wave your hands in the air and holler to get my attention and show me what you have done. This has become quite a ritual at dinnertime. I got excited the first time you actually placed your cup (right side up) in the cup holder part of your high chair tray, so now every time you do it you expect the same level of excitement. And, really, it is still exciting-even after the twentieth time.

We have also been playing a really fun game almost every night after your bath. Daddy and I both get down in the floor with you. We sit across from each other and then you walk back and forth between the two of us. You started out only able to take about two steps at a time, but a couple nights ago I counted nine whole steps before you stumbled and fell to your knees. You get really excited about this whole process, giggling and squealing the whole time. I have really loved watching your progress. When we first started doing this, only a couple weeks ago, it seemed that you were just stumbling as you fell forward. Now you have taught yourself to slow down and re-gain your balance as needed so you can take a few more steps.

We had a couple of really bad weeks this month while you were teething. You now have a total of 7 teeth, with the eighth about to appear any day now. During the same time you developed a cold and a very bad ear infection. Mommy was up with you several times a night while your little body was working through that. You finished off another bottle of anti-biotics and now seem to be feeling much better. I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep, but you are back to your normal sleep schedule. In fact, you are sleeping even longer than usual since I finally got some curtains up in your room to darken it a bit.

There is only one more month left before you turn one year old. June is going to be a big month, and althought I'm looking forward to it, I wish I could freeze every moment I have with you right now. You are so much fun to be around. Your personality and character are really coming out as you discover this big world in your own little way. I could spend all day just watching you and never get bored. I want to savor every single moment I have with you. These last eleven months have been the best of my life.

Love always,
Mama

 Several times a day I find myself thinking up little scenarios in my head.  Some might call it daydreaming.  I like to call it my very own little fantasy world.  In my fantasy world, things always go just the way I want them to.  The happenings in my fantasy world are usually sparked by something in the real world that has recently happened.  For instance, as I was pulling into the parking lot at work a few minutes ago, I saw a man that looked very similar to a guy I was friends with in high school.  I knew it wasn't really my friend, but I played out an entire interaction with him in my head, even inviting him to the bbq at my house this weekend.  In my fantasy world I found out that he is now married, has a baby, and has a job that he loves.  He had just met with a client at my office building and was on his way back to the office for the afternoon.  He also was very happy to see me and couldn't wait to catch up.  We exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers and he was on his way.

Then, there was this morning at work, when I was fantasizing that my mother suddenly had to leave and go far, far, away for three months and that I could have no contact with her whatsoever until she returned.  I'm pretty sure that idea came from the fact that she was talking my ear off from the moment I walked in the door until I left for lunch.  The last two days with her out of the office were kinda nice.  This may be the only time ever in my life that I actually wished for it to be Monday again.

Also, when I was at home for lunch the mailman passed by our house.  Hubby is alwasy teasing me that since Zach doesn't look much like him, he must be the mailman's son instead.  So, I just happened to be outside with the dogs when super-hot mailman passed by our house.  In my fantasy world, mailman was even hotter and um, well, um...I'll just leave that little fantasy in my head I think, but you get the idea.

This is our new puppy Isabel, or "Izzy" for short.  I picked her up yesterday and absolutely fell in love with her the minute I saw her.  She is so cute and spunky and she is already very attached to me.  If I put her down either in the yard or the house, she just follows me around.

Zach showed his affection for Izzy right away.  When I showed her to him he leaned his head over, put his cheek up to hers and gave her a little hug.  Since then, every time I let him get close enough, he tries to either kiss or hug her.  He doesn't quite understand how fragile she is though or how strong he is compared to the tiny puppy.

I really hated leaving her at home this morning, but I know she'll be fine.  She's not very fond of her kennel.  She would much rather be snuggling up in someone's lap.  When I left I could hear her whining in the other room.  It was almost as bad as the first day I left Zach at day care, but not quite.

Thanks for all of the name suggestions I received!  Isabel popped into my head just before I left to go pick her up and as soon as I saw her I knew it was the right name.

Tomorrow I will be the proud owner of a new little furry baby in the form of a puppy.  Yes, I think I am slightly insane as this will make for a total of 4 animals (2 dogs, 2 cats) in our house along with the little human that seems to think he needs to start walking any day now.  I actually got off work tomorrow afternoon so that I can drive an hour to go pick up the puppy.  I have been out shopping the last two days buying all the supplies for our new little girl.  I think we have everything we could possibly need now.  The only thing I don't have for her is a name.  This is where you come in.  I have a couple of ideas, but so far nothing that I really like.  I'm looking for something cute, but not cheesy.  She is a chihuahua/toy fox terrier mix so she will be a small dog and I need a name that fits her.  Here's a picture of her with her brothers and sisters:

She's the one on the very left side.  The lighter colored one.  Please leave some name suggestions in the comments.

I totally love Pearl Jam (in case anyone didn't know that already).  
But, I forgot how much I love this song: 

Don't it make you smile? 
Don't it make you smile?
When the sun don't shine
Don't it make you smile?

Don't it make you smile?
Don't it make me smile? yeah
When the sun don't shine, it don't shine at all, yeah
Don't it make me smile?

I miss you already, yeah, I miss you always
I miss you already, yeah, I miss you all day
This is how I feel
I, I miss you already, yeah, I miss you always
The crooked heart swells all around, yeah, I miss you all day

The crooked heart swells all around, yeah
Don't it make you smile?
Don't it make you smile?
The crooked heart swells all around

Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30 a.m. to the familiar sound of Zach chatting away through the baby monitor.  I layed there and listened to him for a few minutes with a smile on my face before climbing out of bed.  Then I stumbled into the kitchen to fix him a cup of milk and headed back to his room.  As I cracked his door open, I heard a squeal of delight.  I looked up to see a huge smile on the face of my beautiful baby boy.

As has become our usual Saturday morning custom, I picked Zach up and took him to the living room.  I turned the TV on and chose a recorded episode of Jack's Big Music Show from the Tivo.  Zach cuddled up in my lap, drank his milk, and ate a few cheerios from my hand as he bounced to the music.  Once his belly was full, he was ready to get down and play.  I sat, perfectly content, watching him fiddle with each toy as he removed it from his toy bin.

After playing for a while, he started getting fussy and was ready for his morning nap.  While he was napping, hubby and I decided to watch a movie.  Just as the movie was getting toward the end, Zach woke back up.  I brought him back into the living room to play with his toys while we finished the movie.  He wasn't very interested in the toys, however, instead choosing to climb up onto my lap and snuggle  with me.

As the movie ended, hubby and I started tickling and playing with Zach, trying to hear that little giggle that brings so much joy to our lives.  Zach wasn't so much in a ticklish mood, choosing instead to curl back up in my lap and give hugs and kisses.  As I hugged my son, suddenly I got a choked up feeling in the back of my throat and tears started welling up in my eyes.  As I looked at him, all of the love that I feel for my son came rushing at me and all I could think was "I made this."  I held him tight and vowed to myself that I would never, under any circumstances, forget the feeling I had right at that second.  Motherhood is so awesome.

You would think with all the hype and all of the posts that I have devoted to Pearl Jam lately, that I would be listening to the new cd non-stop.  You would think wrong.  For one thing, I still haven't received my pre-ordered cd in the mail.  I'm starting to get a little bit pissed off about that, but that's not why I'm not listening to them.  I did take advantage of the free download so I have the tracks.

The real reason I'm not listening to my beloved Pearl Jam is that after hearing Katherine McPhee's rendition of "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" on AI the other night I can't stop listening to K.T. Tunstall.  I discovered her a while back and immediately downloaded her cd through Rhapsody.  I listened to her non-stop for a couple of weeks until I finally had gotten my fill and could move on to other music. 

K.T. Tunstall's voice is so soothing to me.  With all of the things going on in my life lately and the mood I have been in, listening to her just reaches in and warms me in ways that I can't really explain.  I haven't felt this way about a female singer since I first discovered Sarah McLachlan way back in high school (Thanks again, Manuel!).  She just does something for me.  She makes me feel when I would prefer to be numb.

I looked up lastnight to find Zach standing up on his own, with both hands occupied by his cup.  He wasn't holding on to ANYTHING!  Fortunately I had the camera in my hand when he did it.  He has also been getting much more steady with the walking over the last few days.  It won't be long now!

After forcing myself not to write everything that popped into my head last week (because I would have spent every hour of every day blogging) now I am having writer's block.  It might have something to do with Zach waking up about every two hours lastnight and the amount of sleep that I got because of that.  Not sure.  I do know that one of the times that I woke up to the sounds of a screaming baby I was dreaming about Pearl Jam.  Too bad I didn't get to finish that one out.

We had a great weekend.  Zach has started taking a few steps with only one hand being held instead of both.  I got to spend almost two full hours yesterday just playing with him in the floor with no other distractions and it was awesome.

More later...if I can wake myself up.

p.s.  I'm trying this new thing out.  Really it is just for fun, but if I can publish a few articles in the meantime and make some money, it is even better.  Articles are automatically published after 200 clicks, so if you have some free time, go here and click away.

Remember that sunburn I got last weekend?  I'm peeling like crazy.  My skin is falling off and landing on my desk, the floor, in my lap, and on every other surface that I get near.  And it itches.  The itching is about to drive me insane!  I'm trying not to scratch because the scratching hurts the tender skin underneath the peeling, so instead I gently rub and watch the flakes fall.  It almost looks like snow if you squint your eyes just the right way.

Hubby just called to tell me that he's off work early and to see if I was going to get off early.  I was actually wanting to get off early, but now that I know he's home I'd rather stay at work.  We got into it again lastnight and I really don't feel like talking to him.  He got called out for work so we didn't really finish our fight conversation and I'm sure that he will want to continue it at some point.  I honestly would prefer to just not speak for the rest of the weekend, but I guess that isn't very practical.  You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder?  I wish he would just go away for a while.  I wish I wanted to be around him, but right now I just don't.  Maybe if I do get off work early I can waste some time and go get my haircut that I've been needing.  I did get paid today after all.

Things are happening at work.  From what I understand my boss folded under the pressure and gave in to the things his partner is wanting.  That pretty much means that my job is going to suck even more ass than it does now.  Yippee!  It also looks like the options of where we are moving our office to are narrowing down a bit.  We are most likely going to at least stay in the same office park instead of moving across town.  Works for me.  It will be interesting to see how this all plays out.  I just hope I get an actual office.  Then I can close my door, turn my music up, and try to forget the world around me.

The good news is that Tuesday is May 2nd.  Do you remember what May 2nd is?  PEARL JAM day!  The cd is finally coming out.  Not only is Pearl Jam releasing their cd, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers are also releasing a new cd that day, as well as Tool.  I already have the Tool cd, so I'm not too concerned about that one, but I'm super pumped up about Pearl Jam and RHCP.  I won't be able to purchase the RHCP cd probably for a while, but at least I can listen to in online until I can afford the cd.  But, new music!  Yeah!  I'm excited!

I'm also kind of excited because we got invited to a little get-together at Zach's baby-sitter's house this weekend.  She and I have gotten to be pretty good friends and have been talking about getting together socially for a while but just haven't ever done it.  We finally decided to do it this weekend and invited another day care parent couple over to join us as well (I'm totally in love with their 18-month-old son).  We planned a barbeque, but now it is supposed to rain all weekend so we decided to do Mexican food inside instead.  It should be fun.  I'm actually looking forward to spending some time with some new people and maybe making some new friends.

Dear Zachary,

I cannot believe that you are already 10 months old.  You are quickly reaching that one-year mark and it is going by entirely too quickly in my opinion.  Every day I watch you grow more and more independent and I am so proud of you.  It is so amazing to see you develop into a little person.  It is absolutely the best gift I’ve ever been given.

I thought that you were moving fast before, but you have become even more mobile over the last few weeks.  Daddy and I can barely keep up with you anymore.  Besides the crawling at the speed of light, you are now cruising around the room with your hands barely touching the furniture.  Sometimes you even let go completely and stand for a few seconds before landing on your butt.  As soon as you figure out that balance thing, I’m sure you will be walking on your own.

Besides the crawling and cruising, you have also started climbing on everything.  We have caught you climbing up on your rocking chair, climbing on and through the bottom shelf of the end table, along with using various toys as steps to reach objects that you aren’t supposed to be able to reach.  Then, last weekend at the park, you showed me that you already know how to climb stairs.  I guess you just applied your furniture crawling techniques to the steps.  I put you on the steps leading up to the slide and you started climbing right up with no hesitation whatsoever.  We have never turned you loose on the stairs at home and to my knowledge that was the first chance you ever had to try them out.

When you actually stop moving long enough, you like to use those four teeth of yours to bite everything in sight.  Soon you should be gnawing through almost anything because you have another four teeth quickly on the way.  You stuff absolutely everything in your mouth, including strings, fuzz, and various other things you might find on the floor.  You are eating mostly table foods now, but every once in a while you refuse to eat so I feed you a jar of mushy baby food and you scarf down every bite.  I guess it must taste better than the dog and cat food that you keep trying to sample when you get loose in the kitchen.

A few weeks ago we started giving you a little bit of whole milk and gradually increasing the amount.  You are now completely switched over to milk during the day.  I’m still giving you some formula when you wake up in the morning and just before you go to bed at night, but soon we will be cutting those out as well.  Before long, my baby will be gone and in his place I will have a big boy who eats regular food, drinks regular milk, and walks all over the place on his own.

You are growing up so fast that I can barely keep up, much less remember all the details that I want to treasure forever.  Each time I sit down to write you a letter I wonder if I am leaving out something important.  I do know I’ll never forget that ornery smile you give me where you wrinkle up your nose, stick out your teeth, and scrunch up one eye.  I know that’s not a very good description, but every time you do it I can’t help but smile back.  Your little grin lights up the room and Mama’s heart.

Love,
Mama

We had a really great weekend, followed up by a not so great Monday.  I ended up getting sick and staying home on Monday.  Normally, that would have been great, but Zach decided that he did not want want to nap and instead, would sit around shrieking all afternoon while mommy wanted some peace and quiet.  Had I known he was going to do that all afternoon, I so would have gotten dressed and taken him to day care.  I figured I could handle keeping him at home because he is normally the world's easiest baby to take care of.  I guess I should have known better.

Saturday, we went up to Platte City to watch my nephew play his last two soccer games of the season.  They always have a "tournament" on the last day and serve free hot dogs and chips.  I put Zach in the stroller with a shade over the top so he wouldn't get too much sun.  Apparently, he wasn't completely shaded like I thought he was.  He got a little bit of a sunburn on his face and his legs and is now sporting a totally sexy sock line.  Yes, I did have sunscreen with me.  No, I didn't put any on him.  I really thought that he was totally shaded.  I honestly don't know how he got burnt.  It wasn't a bad burn at all--just slightly pink-- but I felt really bad about it.  At least he wasn't completely fried like I was.  You would think after 28 years of having pale white-as-a-sheet skin I would learn to put sunscreen on.  I'm still hurting.

 

On Sunday, my dad had other obligations so we didn't have our normal Sunday dinner at his house.  Instead,my sister and I decided to pack a picnic lunch and take the boys to Penguin Park to play for a while.  You know, I needed a little more sun on my crispy skin.  I did at least put the sunscreen on both Zach and myself so we didn't burn more.  Zach had his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich and seemed to really enjoy it.  After we finished eating, we went over to the baby area of the park and let the little ones play for a while.  Zach absolutely loved the swings.  Then I took him over to try out the slides.  I was amazed to see him crawl right up the steps to the slide.  He has never been on stairs before and he figured out right away how to get up them. 

The little guys tired out pretty quickly, so we went over to the older kid area so my other nephew could play for a bit. I took the two babies and sat them in one of the play cars that was there to take a couple of pictures. When I looked over at Zach, he was falling asleep sitting up. We decided we better get headed home. 

Zach completely crashed in the car on the way home and didn't even wake up when I got him out of his carseat.  I decided I needed a nap too, so while he was sleeping I went and laid down and took a 2 hour long nap before Zach woke me up.  It was absolutely heavenly!

Other than a quick trip to the grocery store, we had a pretty relaxing evening on Sunday.  I even managed to FINALLY finish the book I was reading!

I realized again this weekend how blessed I am to have my family so close and to get to spend so much time with them.  Sometimes I get tired of always being on the move and doing so much on the weekends, but I love the time I spend with my family. 

Recently I have been adding a lot of new blogs to my blogroll (my personal bookmarks, not the list on this site cause I can't seem to keep up with it).  The list has been growing so quickly that I can barely keep up with my daily reads anymore.  I have to make a choice every day which ones I am going to read and which ones I am going to skip.  That is a very difficult decision.

Finding new blogs has become an addiction with me.  I go to read my regulars and then I find links either in the posts or in the comments and I just can't keep from clicking on them.  Sometimes I'm not real impressed with the content and click the little red x, but sometimes I get totally absorbed in the new site and add it to the blogroll.  That has been happening a lot lately.  And that is why my list is getting so long.  There are just way too many talented writers out there and I cannot say no.

Just a few weeks ago I went through and cleaned out my list.  There were a few that were no longer updating or that had simply lost my interest that I was able to remove.  The list was much shorter and much more manageable.  Then yesterday I started really looking at the list again and it is even longer now than it was before the clean-up.  Will somebody please send help?  This might explain why it has now taken me 10 months to read a real book (that I'm not quite finished with yet).

And, in other addiction news, I have found a new source to feed my music addiction.  It turns out that the new girl in the office has rather good taste in music and a rather decent sized cd collection as well.  She loaned me a couple of cds to check out today.  I see our friendship becoming much closer in the near future.  Well, even without the cd collection, she's a pretty cool chick anyway.

Also, thank you to all of you who offered advice and suggestions about the money issues.  I'm hoping to implement some of your suggestions in the near future.  Have I told you lately how much I love you?

I was sitting there lastnight staring at my budget spreadsheet and trying to figure out where in the heck all the money is going to these days.  I figured out that we are currently spending about $400-500 a month more than what we are bringing in.  That is an estimate because hubby's paychecks always differ in the amount.  His checks should be going up soon because they are hitting their busy season and he should be getting a lot of over time.  That will make up for the difference over the summer months, but when we hit fall, we'll be in the same boat we are in now.  Hopefully we can get some things paid off before then so it won't be quite so bad.  The thing that is really killing us right now is day care.  That really makes up the difference of what we are behind each month.  What really stinks about this whole situation is that I am realizing that there is no way in hell we should even be thinking about having another kid.  And, I had just kind of decided that I was going to be ready to start trying again in June.

Then, while I was sitting there contemplating this whole situation, my brother calls me and tells me about this great employee discount that his company has been offered through Dell.  Apparently through the end of April, they can get 35% off, plus another 12% off of Dell computers.  He called to tell me because I've been questioning him about laptops lately because I desperately need to replace mine.  It is slowly dying and I'm afraid that it is just going to give out any day now.  If I bought one through Dell, right now, I could get almost half off.  I want this so bad I was practically in tears because I know I can't buy anything else right now.  Next to Zach, my laptop is probably the most important thing in my life.  I know I can live without it, but I will always be upset that I missed this opportunity.

Brother also hooked me up with the new Tool cd.  I'm not really a huge Tool fan, but I don't mind listening to them on occasion.  I haven't even heard the whole thing yet, but so far it sounds pretty good.