drifting away...

Some of you may know and some of you may not know that I used to work with developmentally disabled adults living in group homes. I did this for about 4 years and it was probably the most fulfilling and satisfying job I have ever had. There is really no way to describe the bonds that I made with the people living in these homes. In a way, it is like caring for your own children, even though they were all quite a bit older than me. Some of them could do a lot of things for themselves, but most of the people I worked with needed assistance from the time they got out of bed in the morning until the time they went back to bed in the evening. I helped them shower, brush their teeth, get dressed, shave, eat, etc. Even though most of them could not even speak, they found a special way to communicate to you. It was such an amazing feeling when you could finally figure out what they wanted or needed.

At one of the houses that I worked in, I made some very special bonds. I was there for about 2 of the 4 years and was able to really connect with a couple of the guys that lived there. They will always have a very special place in my heart as long as I live. One of the guys, named Bruce, in the time that I was there, went from being a terror that no one dared even get close to, to smiling and lifting his arms to give me a hug when I walked in the room. Everyone was so amazed that he would act like that with me, but I simply told them it was a matter of giving him the respect he deserved. It was so nice to see the change in him and I will never forget the feeling of that first hug from him.

The other one that I bonded with was Ray. He is an older guy and moved into the house shortly after I started working there. After moving in, he made some massive improvements. He went from doing nothing but sitting on the couch being grumpy, to smiling and laughing when someone would walk through the room. He has such a contagious laugh, it is just unbelievable!

Eventually, I had to leave that job due to some budget cuts. I just couldn't make enough to suport myself anymore. Shortly after I left that job, I got a call from a friend of mine that still worked there. She said that they were in need of a new legal guardian for Ray and that everyone thought of me first when the subject was brought up. I was so flattered and surprised that they wanted me to do it. Of course I had to agree to do it. I figured it was a great way to stay involved with the guys and a great way to volunteer my time. It just feels good to know that I'm still able to help Ray out even though I'm not working with him anymore. Plus, I'm glad that I get a chance to still watch out for him and make sure he is being cared for appropriately.

I've been thinking about Ray a lot today. I think I'm going to try to get off work early and go over for a visit. I miss seeing those guys everyday. They always brought a smile to my face, even when I was in a bad mood.

Just thinking about these lyrics.....

CHRIS ISAAK --"Two Hearts"

No stars in the sky, the night seems so dark around you.
You won't say a word, and wonder why no one's found you,
Waiting for love, praying for love again........

Love's a heavy weight, give it to me don't hesitate.
Love's a heavy thing, too heavy for one heart to bring me your love.
Give me your love again, it's not your fault.
One heart can never win it takes.

Two hearts, two hearts just to hold love.
Two hearts, two hearts just to hold your lo-o-o-o-o-ve.
Your lo-o-o-o-o-ve.

And if your heart should ache,
Remember me.
And if your heart should break.

Two hearts, two hearts they can mend it.
Heartache, heartaches can be ended by love, by love.

Love's a heavy weight, give to me don't hesitate.
Love's a heavy thing, too heavy for one heart to bring me your love.
Give me your love again, It's not too late.
One heart can never win, it takes two hearts.

Two hearts, two hearts just to hold love
Two hearts, two hearts just to hold your lo-o-o-o-o-ve
Your lo-o-o-o-o-ve.

Since I was a teenager, I've had a sense of restlessness about me. I don't know why or where it comes from, but I feel it. It comes and goes. Sometimes I am quite content in my life, and other times I feel so lost and restless, like I'm searching for something that I can't quite get my hands on. I have all these great dreams and ideas and I always find myself thinking, if I could just do this one thing, it will all settle down. So, I begin a new adventure or project and halfway through it I get bored and discover that it wasn't the thing I needed so I quit. I very rarely ever complete anything.

There are lots of little things that I have given up on, but there are also a few very big, life changing things I have given up on because of my restlessness. I gave up on my first marriage and left the person who was probably my one and only true soul mate in this world. I gave up graduate school after only one year and tried to justify it with lame excuses. I have hurt some of the most important people in my life because I wasn't willing to commit to them the way I should have. Honestly, I can't really commit to anything. I always end up giving up. I really hate this about myself. I just wish I could find that one thing that would help me settle the restlessness inside me. I keep trying but so far, nothing has really worked.

People look at me from the outside and think that everything is perfect. I have a wonderful family that loves and cares about me, a great husband, a good job, a decent car, a nice house, my dog and cats, enough money to get by on, and a couple of hobbies that I really enjoy. All of my basic needs are met. What else could a person really need? I even look at this myself and can't find anything wrong, so why do I feel the way I do inside? Why do I always feel like there is something missing, that I need something more?

I know that other people can see this in me too. When I talked to my husband about wanting to go back to school for web design, he was rather apprehensive. Of course he is concerned about the cost as we seem to always be struggling with our finances, but I think he is also afraid that I will give up and get tired of it before I even really get started. He says he supports me in whatever I want to do, but I can see it in his face that he doesn't really mean it. When I first mentioned it he was all for it, but the more we talk about it, the more I can see that he really isn't wanting me to do it. Now I am second-guessing myself. I'm wondering if this is really something that I will commit to or if this is just another phase I'm going through and I'll get tired of it and give up like I have with everything else. It makes me feel angry towards him because he is putting these thoughts of doubt in my head, but at the same time...maybe he is right.

I wish I could find what it is that I'm looking for and make these restless feelings stop. I feel like I am never going to be satisfied and content. Every once in a while, if only for a short time, I find that content feeling and want it to last forever. During those moments I feel like all the world is right, but they never last. I wish there was a way to hold on to those moments, to go back in time and feel that content, peaceful feeling. Lately those moments have been very few and far between.

One Thing-Finger Eleven

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

Today started out good but now I am just plain bored and the clock is just not ticking fast enough. I've been by all my favorite web sites and blogs. I've tried working on my company's web site, but even that is boring me today. I just want to go home and do something relaxing and fun. I'm thinking it would be a good night to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie maybe. That probably won't happen but it is certainly nice to think about.

I have finally created a button for links to pimpmyblog.net, so if anyone wants to link to it, here is the code.

<a href="http://www.pimpmyblog.net"><img src="http://www.pimpmyblog.net/pimpbutton.jpg" border ="0" /></a>

It should look like this:

There's just nothing quite like getting an e-mail or letter from an old friend. I suppose if it happened often, then it would certainly loose its effect a little bit, but it always manages to cheer me up a bit. I woke up this morning feeling good after actually getting a good night's sleep for a change. I got dressed up in a cute outfit and put on some of my new jewelry and felt good walking out the door. When I got to work I checked my e-mail and had an e-mail from a very good friend of mine. It immediately put a smile on my face. What a great way to start the day out! Hopefully the positive vibes will continue cause I'm loving this feeling I have today.

I bought hubby his birthday present lastnight. His birthday isn't until September, but he's really wanting to go see the Saints play the Rams in St. Louis (he's a HUGE Saints fan) and the game just happens to be the weekend of his birthday. So, I got on ebay lastnight and found some tickets. Not great seats, but good enough and not too expensive. So, we've decided to make a weekend of it and have some fun in St. Louis. It will be a nice little getaway.

Well, I suppose I should do some work, being that it's already 10:00 and I haven't done a damn thing yet!

As I crawled out of bed this morning, I heard my hubby in the kitchen laughing his head off. So, with natural curiousity, I went in there to see what was going on. Apparently, the cooler weather has enticed the mice to come back inside. My cat discovered one of these creatures early this morning and was stalking it. Once the dog caught on to what was happening, he had to join in on the fun. They tag teamed the poor little mouse and finally managed to catch it. The cat bit down on it and stopped it from moving. Hubby stepped in and rescued the poor little thing and threw him outside...against a huge tree. He figured it was dead, but when I took the dog outside later, we discovered it was still laying there twitching. I felt really bad for the little mouse and wanted to put it out of its misery, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, it is probably still laying there in the yard twitching and I feel so mean for leaving it like that.

---

Listening to:
Artist: A Perfect Circle
Album: Thirteenth Step
Title: Gravity

Lost again
Broken and weary
Unable to find my way
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to
Just let this go

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live

I fell again
Like a baby unable to stand on my own
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to just let this go
High and surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live, I choose to live

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
Help me survive the bottom

Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down another
Needy hole please release me

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live

I just got an e-mail from my dad telling me that my cousin has been accepted into the marines. He is currently in law school and has decided to become a military lawyer. He just passed his physical and signed his contract. The good news is that he can't be assigned anywhere other than JAG. As he put it, it's either JAG or he's out. I'm happy for him. I know he is really excited about this and I hope it all works out for him.

---

Listening to:

Artist: Velvet Revolver
Album: Contraband
Title: You Got No Right

I fell through the ice
She won't be coming back too soon
It never wins to lie
She said you'll never have no rights

I've took it farther on the outside
I've took it nearly to the brink
And if you've seen me on the outside
You would have barely seen me breathe

Funny right here I find myself
Inside a paper cup
Without a warning or a reason it's a treason
With no answer

You got no right
To keep me waiting here
You got no right
To keep the pain in here
That holds the crown

And if I fall apart on the outside
(You really don't believe me)
And if I take it to the brink
And if I fall apart on the outside
(You really don't believe me)
You would have barely seen me breathe

And if I meet you out tonight
Will you be loving me forever
It's always over after the night
It's always colder after the night
I broke through the ice
She won't be coming back again
It's been a year and a night

This weekend was unusually chilly for July. Hubby and I woke up Saturday morning to a very cold rain. It would have been a great day to stay home and veg and watch some movies, but we had promised to help my mom move some boxes over to her new apartment. We headed over there hoping that she had changed her mind, but of course, she didn't. My friend was very gracious to offer us the use of her van to move stuff over. We spent probably about 4-5 hours packing and moving boxes (in the pouring down rain). By the time we finished we were all exhausted and soaking wet. As soon as we finished loading the last of the boxes, the rain stopped. Go figure!

Saturday night, we went over to help my friend celebrate her birthday. Her plans for a party had kinda flopped, so we just ended up going out for a nice dinner and then watched a movie back at their house. It was a fun evening, but I felt like a bad friend cause I kept falling asleep during the movie.

Sunday morning I had to drag myself out of bed to get to church. After church, I came home and spent the rest of the day on my computer working on some new web designs. I'm working on a new layout for therunaway, but it looks like she'll be gone this week so it may be a while before it is actually up and running. I also finished a new header and color scheme for GurlOnTheG0. It was nice to have some time on my computer, but I feel pretty bad that I didn't spend any time with hubby yesterday. Guess I'll have to make up for that tonight.

I also did a lot of thinking yesterday about what I want to do with my life. I know I've talked quite a bit about how unhappy I am with my job and how I would love to do web design. My biggest problem is that I need more training before I could get hired somewhere. So, I thought a lot about it yesterday and I think I'm going to try to start taking some classes. I mentioned it to hubby and he was very supportive. I did an internet search and found a school that has an online degree program. I contacted them for more information. They are one of the cheapest that I found and it seems like they have a pretty good program. I'm anxious to find out more about it. The best part about it would be that if I could spend my days doing web design and computer stuff, then I would have the rest of my free time to do other things. I spend so much time doing my web stuff in the evenings and weekends that I sometimes don't have time to do anything else. I'm really excited about this and I'm hoping that I will actually follow through this time. I know it will take a lot of work, but I think it is something I need to do.

I'm so glad that it is Friday finally!!! I would be even more glad if I thought I was going to get to have a nice relaxing weekend. I don't have much time to blog but I did want to take a few minutes to say a few words. I'm trying to get out of here by 3:00 today which means I only have 40 more minutes to get everything done. So, here's the short version:

I had a jewelry party last weekend that was very successful. I ended up with over $300 of free jewelry for myself. The jewelry came in the mail today and I am super excited cause I really needed some new stuff. I feel so pretty with my new rings and bracelets and necklaces!

Today is also a good day because it is one of my best friend's birthday! She is one of the strongest women I know. She is raising 4 kids and working full time and still manages to find time to do everything. She is always willing to help anyone out at the drop of a hat. She gives way more of herself than anyone should ever be expected to give. For those and for many other reasons, I love this woman like a sister. So, Happy Birthday girl! I hope you have a wonderful day and take a little time for yourself. I can't wait to help you celebrate tomorrow night!!!

Well, I guess that's about it for now. Gotta get back to work.....30 minutes and counting!!!

I finished the new layout today for aliciarose. The layout is actually very similar to mine so it was pretty easy to do. I'm pretty proud of it though, being as it is my first "pimped" blog site. I've already had a couple more requests. If anyone else wants freebies, you better get your requests in cause I'm going to have to start charging soon! Hey, I gotta make some money somehow, right? Anyone that is interested can pm me on tblog or e-mail me at dee@pimpmyblog.net.

So I was sitting on my couch lastnight working on a web page and I started feeling a little warm. At first I just thought it was because I had my laptop on my lap and that it was putting out so much heat it was making me hot. After a while I decided to move my laptop and it was still getting hotter. Finally, I asked hubby if he was feeling hot and he said he was. So, after a little investigative work, we discovered that our air conditioner had pooped out. It was too late to do anything about it at the time, so we opened up the windows and turned on the attic fan and went to bed. I spent all night tossing and turning and sweating. It didn't exactly make for a good night's sleep.

So, first thing this morning I called to see if our maintenance man from work could come over and look at it. He said he would, so I guess we'll see what happens. I really hope he can fix it!

What is it about music that makes us feel? What is it that makes us like a certain kind of music and dislike others? Why is it that two people can listen to the same piece of music and one person loves it while the other person can't stand it? Why do certain types of music put us in different moods? Why do memories come easier when they are associated with a particular song? Why does music seem to dig so deep, down to the soul?

I wish I had the answers to all of those questions, but of course I don't. They are just some thoughts I'm having today.

I've been listening to Pearl Jam for the last couple days. I would have to say that they are one of my all-time favorite bands. Their music just has an effect on me that none other has. My ex is the one that introduced me to them. I had heard them before and had friends that were listening to them, but I had never really paid much attention. He is the one that made me start listening. In fact, he made me listen to a lot of music that I would otherwise probably never have been exposed to. He made me fall in love with Pearl Jam. Their music fits almost any mood that I am in. It makes me nostalgic sometimes. Most of the songs remind me of him. Other times it makes me happy and can cheer me up when I'm feeling down. Music is so powerful.

Some days I am so bored with my job. Today for instance, when I actually have work to do, I just feel like pulling my hair out. The stuff I am doing right now should take me maybe 20-30 minutes and so far I have managed to stretch it out for almost 2 hours because I just simply don't want to do it. It's very easy, but I'm just bored with it. The last two days I have spent almost all day working on the new website design. That was a blast. The time went by so fast! I love it when I get to work on the website, but those times are few and far between. I'm really starting to think that I'm in the wrong type of job. If I am so bored by my job that I just don't want to do it, something is wrong. I really wish that I had some type of degree in graphic design or computers or something. I would love to sit and design web sites all day. But, it is so hard to get hired on doing that stuff unless you have the degree or at least a good background. All I can say is that I've taught myself, mostly by online tutorials. I've done a few websites, but nothing that makes any money. Please hire me? I'll be a great benefit to your company cause I don't know jack shit. I'm pretty sure I would get the door slammed in my face. It is pretty frustrating to think about. I know I should get my ass in gear and go back to school, but I don't have the money for it and I don't want to take out any more loans. I have a hard enough time just paying for the ones I already have. So, instead, I sit here with my Psychology degree doing mundane tasks that anyone with a high school diploma could probably do. How pathetic is that?

I just donated all of my tbucks to SatoriSam, all 5205 of them. Go check out his site and donate to help out the children. What else are you going to use those tbucks for anyway?

[b]Listening to:[/b] Indifference-Pearl Jam

I will light the match this mornin', so I won't be alone
Watch as she lies silent, for soon night will be gone
Oh, I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I'm free to roam
Oh, I will make my way, through, one more day in Hell...
How much difference does it make
How much difference does it make, yeah...

I will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
Oh, I'll keep takin' punches until their will grows tired
Oh, I will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind
Hey, I won't change direction, and I won't change my mind
How much difference does it make
Mmm, how much difference does it make...how much difference...

I'll swallow poison, until I grow immune
I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
How much difference
How much difference does it make

I was just about to start having some fun blogging and surfing around cause I have a pretty slow afternoon. But, of course, I got handed a stack of work that has to be completed this afternoon before I leave. What a bummer!

I'm listening to my "grunge" playlist today with some Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Nirvana, etc. on it. When I heard "Thin Air" the lyrics caught my attention. It's so funny how you can listen to a song hundreds of times and then one day the lyrics just catch you and you can think of nothing else.

Thin Air-Pearl Jam

there's a light when my baby's in my arms
there's a light when the window shades are drawn
hesitate when i feel i may do harm to her
wash it off cuz this feeling we can share
and i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
byzantine is reflected in our pond
there's a cloud but the water remains calm
reaching in, the sun's fingers clutch the dawn to pass
even out, it's a precious thing to bear
and i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
yes i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
it's not in my past to presume
love can keep on moving in both directions
how to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together
taking on, on, on, on, on...taking on, on, on, on, on...
there's a light when my baby's in my arms
and i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
and i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
and i know she's reached my heart, in thin air
yes i know she's reached my heart...

I started working on a new layout for our company web site yesterday. Our current web site is one of the first sites I did and it is really quite cheesey. Now that I have learned a lot more about web design, I thought it was time to upgrade the site a bit. I've been working hard all morning and I finally put together something I like. I just gave the bosses their first glimpse at it and they actually both liked it. I was expecting them to say change this, change that....but they didn't. They both said that it looked great. That was so nice for a change!

I've been working for a while on a new project and I think I'm finally ready to show it off. I have designed a new wesite called "Pimp My Blog". I've really been having fun lately coming up with new designs for blog sites and have lots of ideas in my head. The next step is to get all the stuff in my head coded out for the blog sites. It will probably be a little slow for a while, but I'm very excited to learn more. I'm going to start out doing templates and headers for tblog and blogger as these are the sites I am most familiar with. I hope to eventually branch out and do some moveable type layouts as well as some other blog sites. So, if any of you bloggers out there want your blog pimped, check out my site at www.pimpmyblog.net. I don't have any set fees yet, but will charge according to how complicated the layout is. Eventually, I will have some linkware layouts and headers, but I don't have enough ready just yet. However, for a limited time only, I may offer some freebies to my tblog friends. So, check it out when you have a chance. I would be very grateful for some feedback on the site.

I finally finished my sister's blog site. I showed it to her this weekend and she loved it. I'm so glad to get it done. The code is a little sloppy, but it seems to be functioning just fine. Here is what the template looks like.

[image]hardtoimagine_5415 09421.jpg width="400"[/image]

Tomorrow is the birthday of someone who was once the center of my world. He entered into my life exactly when I needed him to. He taught me so much about life and love. He carried me through some of the most difficult times in my life. He was the reason for everything that I strived for. For a while he was everything that I needed to be happy. But somehow, through the years, it all changed.

As time goes by I still think of him often. I still talk to him in my mind. I still write him letters that he will never read. I still wonder sometimes where it all went wrong. I wonder why it all changed. I wonder where he is and what he's doing. I wonder who he is with and if they could possibly love him as much as I did. I wonder if he thinks of me the way I think of him.

So, happy birthday to you. You are on my mind and in my heart always. I hope you have a wonderful day and celebrate it with those you love.

The in-laws are coming today. I finally finished getting my house clean around 10:30 lastnight. I really need some time to relax now! I really do love my in-laws and I do enjoy their visits, but I hate the way I have to rush around and clean everything before they come up. Since they are only here about twice a year, I want everything to be spotless when they get here. Hubby doesn't understand it, but it is just something I have to do. Anyway, it is done and I'm finally ready for them to get here. Now, I'm just hoping I can get off work a little early so I can be home when they get here.

We had quite a storm lastnight while i was trying to sleep. I know it must have been pretty bad because all of the animals were suddenly in the bed with us and the dog kept crawling under the covers. He does this occasionally, but most of the time it is when it is storming. When I got up this morning to take the dog out, I found all kinds of stuff blown around the yard. I heard on the radio that there were about 8000 people without power in the area. Ours flickered a couple times but stayed on. Because of the wonderful storm I am super tired today. I wish I could just go take a nap! Maybe a little caffeine will help...

[i]I tried to post this yesterday, but tblog was not cooperating.[/i]

I whipped out an old cd today. I haven't listened to it in a very long time. It takes me back into my past, to people and places that I will never see again. It brings with it good memories, as well as bad. It makes me emotional. I listen to it over and over again finding new meaning in old songs. There is one song in particular that speaks to me today. A song that I never paid much attention to before. It finds it's place in my life today, although it will not let me let go of the past memories that it carries. The song that speaks to me today is "Man of Golden Words" from Mother Love Bone's Stardog Champion cd.

Man of Golden Words-Mother Love Bone

Wanna show you something like
The joy inside my heart
Seems I've been living in the temple of the dog
Where would I live, if I were a man of golden words?
And would I live, at all?
Words and music, my only tools
Communication

And on her arrival, I will set free the birds
It's a pretty time of year, and the mountains sing out loud
Tell me, Mr. Golden Words, how's about the world?
Tell me can you tell at all?
Words and music, my only tools
Communication
Let's fall in love with music
The driving force in our living
The only international language
Divine glory, the expression
The knees bow, the tongue confesses
The lord of lords, the king of kings
The king of kings

Words and music - my only tools
Communication

I'm being a very bad employee today. In fact, I think if I was my boss I would fire me. I've spent almost all day working on a template for my sister's blog that I want to set up for her. I decided to use Blogger for her blog and I have been trying to sort through all the blogger codes all day. I have the template pretty much how I want it, but now I have to figure out how to get all the content in there. This is the first Blogger template I have done and it is becoming quite a headache! I can't seem to get it to come out right. Tblog makes it much easier to do a custom template! I really need to get this figured out cause I want to be able to get her started on it as soon as possible. Plus, I really need learn the blogger codes anyway because I'm wanting to start up a site with blog templates and I won't be able to do that very well if I can't figure out the damn codes. I'm sure it isn't that difficult. I guess my head just isn't able to process it today. Plus, I'm not very good at CSS yet without having my handy little reference book available, so I'm confusing myself even more. Maybe I should just stop messing with it for a while and actually do some work!

I have been feeling this overwhelming need to clean lately. Actually, it's not as much cleaning as it is organizing and getting rid of all the junk. I am a major packrat and my house is full of junk. It doesn't really look that bad. It is just cluttered and I don't know how to get rid of it. It has been driving me nuts lately. The biggest problem is that the stuff that I consider to be clutter or junk is mostly stuff that other people have given me as gifts and I don't want to get rid of it. The last time I moved, I left a lot of that stuff in boxes and didn't even unpack it. But, now I'm out of storage space for the boxes. I'm beginning to think maybe I just need to get on ebay and sell a bunch of stuff or have a garage sale.

Another big problem I have is that I REALLY need to get my house clean because my in-laws are coming to town on Friday. They only come up about twice a year and that is the only time that my house gets a major cleaning. I always want it to be spotless when they come up and right now it is just a total mess. I just don't have enough time to get through all the clutter and clean before they get here and I'm starting to get very stressed about it. My mother graciously offered to come over and help me clean tomorrow night, which means that I can spend tonight working on the clutter problem and then still have tomorrow and Thursday to clean.

I wish I could just snap my fingers and have it all done!

I decided this morning that as a gift to my sister I want to make her a blog. She is pregnant with her 2nd child and I think it would be really neat to set up a blog for her where she can track what is going on with the baby. I think it is something she would really get into and enjoy, but it will take a little bit to get her set up and show her how to use it. I just think it would be a really great way to share her experience with friends and family. I'm thinking that after the in-laws visit this weekend I should have some time to work on her template and get it all set up. I'll just have to push my other projects back a little bit to get it done.

I had a pretty uneventful weekend, other than finding a new pet on my patio. I was walking outside to take a couple of pictures when I looked down and saw two little snake eyes peering up at me. So, since I already had camera in hand, I thought I would snap a couple of pictures. I guess he didn't like me taking pictures of him much, cause he slithered away down a hole on the backside of my chimney. The snake didn't really bother me, but I'm not so sure I like the idea of him living under or IN my house. Next time he's gonna get his head chopped off.

[image]hardtoimagine_6689 66016.jpg width="400"[/image]
[image]hardtoimagine_1310 734942.jpg width="400"[/image]

I'm playing computer tech at work today. Almost everyone in our office is gone, so it ended up being a great day to work on computers. I'm upgrading software on a couple of them and doing clean-ups on the rest. So, I'm running all over the office from computer to computer trying to get it all done so I can (hopefully) get out of here early today. I'm so glad the weekend is finally here! I'm looking forward to having some relaxation time.

Apparently, my drainage problem is fixed. At least that's what I was told. I went home for a quick lunch and all seems well. Now I just gotta clean up the mess that was left!

So, once again I was right. Yesterday turned out to be a completely shitty day. I think I mentioned yesterday that I had water in my laundry room. The drain had backed up so we were gonna try to clean up the water and then try to clear the drain. Well, we cleaned up the water, but quickly found out that the drain was not the only problem. Apparently our whole main drainage pipe is backing up, so we couldn't use any water lastnight without the threat of flooding the basement. So, we packed up the dog and hauled ourselves over to my mom's apartment. We spent the night over there and even though I was really tired, I barely slept at all. Now I'm just waiting to see when the plumber will show up. It would be really nice to have this fixed today so I can sleep in my own bed tonight!

Today has been such a boring day that I can't even think of anything interesting to write about. The boredom has seeped through my brain to the point that it is blocking out all interesting thoughts...wait... something is coming I think....

I'm starting to feel one of my creative spells coming on, which is good cause I really need to do some work on a couple of my websites, plus my cousin is waiting for me to finish his template. Only problem is, I don't have the time to really let myself get into it. I just have too many other things to do when I get home at night. Tonight, for instance, I have to go home and pump the water out of my laundry room that is threatening to spread to the rest of the basement. Then, I'm sure I'll have to fix some dinner. I also need to catch up my checkbook and pay bills, practice my guitar, work out, and it would be nice to take a quick dip in the pool. By the time I do all that, I'll be about ready to fall into bed but I also need to work on getting my house cleaned since I spent all weekend jacking around. That just doesn't leave any time for me to get cozy with my computer and create.

It's rather quiet here today, which is really nice considering that this is effectively Monday. I'm in a rather tranquil mood. I'm looking at my favorite beach picture that I took in Oregon and I'm wishing I was there relaxing on the beach, listening to the sound of the ocean. I am definitely not wanting to be here in the office. I've gotten a couple of small projects finished up, but I just have no motivation to work on anything else. It is so hard to want to work after a 3-day weekend. Unless the boss decided to come back in, I'm thinking maybe I'll spend the rest of the day looking for a new blog layout idea. I love this one, but I've had several comments about it being hard to read. Plus, I'm thinking maybe a little color might brighten my mood. Hmmm...maybe a beach theme...

I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. Mine was very nice. Since we didn't end up going to the lake, we had a nice relaxing weekend at home...well, mostly at home. Friday night we went to see Spiderman 2, which was very good.

Saturday I slept in until 1:00 in the afternoon (very much needed) and it was wonderful. We just kinda bummed around the house most of the day, then we went out to eat and went to watch my friend's band play.

Sunday we got up and went to my dad's new church. It is much smaller than his last one and felt kinda strange to be in a small church again. I also found out that one of the local dj's goes to church there. We went out to dinner, then headed home but decided to stop at Wal-Mart on the way. On a total impulse, we decided to buy a little pool for our yard. We decided on the 12 foot round pool, which is a whole 36 inches tall...not big enough to really swim, but big enough to get wet in! So we toted it home and started setting it up and we found out that there is not a single flat area in our yard. Everywhere that looked flat we soon discovered was actually at a slope. So, after a very frustrating afternoon, hubby finally got out the shovel and decided he was going to make a flat area! We finally got it all set up and it is still at a bit of a slope, but it will work.

Monday was pretty uneventful. Hubby decided (finally!) that he was going to paint at least one of the two bedrooms that have been waiting for a new coat of paint since last September. He needed a couple paintbrushes and I wanted to get a couple things for the pool, so I volunteered to go to Wal-Mart and pick them up. Not such a good idea! Wal-Mart was freakin packed. It took me an hour and a half just to pick up a couple things and get through the check out line. By the time I got back I was very frustrated, so I decided to go chill out in the pool for a while, which was pretty fun! After that, we watched a movie and went to bed. Not much excitement, but it was so nice just to be home this weekend and hot have to go anywhere!

I spent most of the weekend listening to the Halcyon cd that I copied from Amy when we were in Oregon. The do an amazing rendition of "When you say nothing at all" and I just can't get it out of my head. I have loved this song since the first time I heard it and I really love their version. Not to get all mushy or anything, but it makes me think of my hubby. I haven't posted any lyrics for a while, so I thought I would put these up today.

Halcyon-When You Say NOthing At All

[i]It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all[/i]


P.S. If you get a chance today, go visit jennsabsent. She's going through a tough time and could really use some prayers.

So hubby and I decided lastnight that we are not going to the lake this weekend. Instead, we are going to stay home, which I think will be just wonderful. We found out lastnight that there are going to be a lot of people down there at the lake house this weekend and our friends are not going to even go down until Sunday so there's really no point. So, I get to spend the weekend chilling out at my house. I think we're gonna go see Spiderman II tonight, then just hang out the rest of the weekend. Maybe I can start cleaning my house. :shock: Anyway, I am really hoping to have some time to relax and maybe play my guitar. I haven't spent much time with it lately. I'm a little bummed about not going to the lake, but I know we can always go another time.

I am so ready for this weekend. We are going to the lake again with some friends and I cannot wait to have a chance to relax. I know I just got back from vacation, but I am so exhausted! I have been so busy since I got back. We got back in town Sunday and I haven't had a moment to myself since. When I got off work Monday, my mom wanted us to go to dinner with her and my Grandma. Tuesday night we had to go up to my dad's house and have his wife look over some legal papers that hubby was supposed to sign for his ex-wife. We didn't make it home until after 11:00. Wednesday night my friends' band was playing so we had to go to the show and didn't get home until 1:00 in the morning. Tonight I have guitar lessons, then I have to go to my mom's, give my grandma a haircut, and have dinner with them. Then I have to go home and do laundry so I can pack for the lake. I just know its gonna be another late night. I really haven't gotten much sleep this week and I'm really surprised that I'm even still functioning. I'm really hoping that there aren't too many people at the lake house this weekend so hubby and I can have one of the bedrooms. I think I could probably sleep all weekend long! At least I get one extra day this weekend. I really should just stay home but I can't pass up a weekend at the lake!

Why is it that when one thing goes wrong things just seem to keep spiraling downward? Ok, it's nothing major, but I have been majorly clumsy lately. I have been falling down, tripping, and bumping into things a lot more than usual. I am a pretty naturally clumsy person, but I can't believe how many bumps and bruises I have gotten in the last couple weeks! Then lastnight I was working on the yard and got the weedeater out. As I was trying to cut down the massive weeds that have grown in our yard (cause we haven't had a weedeater to use) a big chunk of something flew up and hit me just above the eye. 1/4 inch closer and it would have been in my eye. I'm really glad that it hit where it did cause it would really have hurt if it would have hit my eye. Granted, that was not really something I could control so I can't attribute it to my clumsiness, but I am starting to look like I just got completely beat up! I really need to start taking better care of myself or my body is going to give out.