drifting away...

I borrowed this little thing from another blog that I was reading this morning, but now I can't quite remember where it came from.  I must be starting to lose my memory.  Anyway, here is a little recap of my year.

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Went to Canada
Did anyone close to you die?
Yep, my Grandpa.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
ummm....a healthy, happy baby
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 6. This was the day my Grandfather passed away. He died in his home surrounded by his wife, children, and grandchildren.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting pregnant!
What was your biggest failure?
Quitting my guitar lessons and not starting back up
What was the best thing you bought in 2004?
My new digital camera
Where did most of your money go?
bills, bills, and more bills...
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?
Happier
Older or wiser?
Hopefully both
Thinner or fatter?
Fatter....but I blame it on the baby...
Richer or poorer?
About the same
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Kept in contact with my friends and family, and exercising
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting on my butt watching TV and eating
What was your favorite TV program?
The O.C.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope, can't really say that I hate anybody...except maybe comment spammers...
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Silvertide...their guitarist totally kicks ass!
Top 3 Music releases in 2004 in your opinion?
Sarah McLachlan-Afterglow
Shinedown-Leave A Whisper
Velvet Revolver-Contraband
What was your favorite film of this year?
50 First Dates...I so want Adam Sandler to serenade me...
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More money so I could pay off my bills and live debt-free.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
As comfy as possible....if you call that a fashion concept...
What kept you sane?
being able to bitch on my blog
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmmm....guess if I have to choose it would be Eddie Vedder or Adam Sandler....or maybe the guitarist from Tantric (he's a hottie!)
What political issue stirred you the most?
banning of gay/lesbian marriage
Who did you miss?
Gill, my Grandma, Grandpa, AmyBeth, family I don't get to see often....I could go on all day...
Tell of a valuable life lesson learned in 2004:
Above all else, make your own happiness your priority. No one else can provide it for you.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Fortunate Fool-Jack Johnson

She's got it all figured out
She knows what everything's about
And when anybody doubts her,
Or sings songs without her
She's just so mmm

She knows the world is just her stage
And so she'll never misbehave
She gives thanks for what they gave her
Man, they practically made her
Into a mmm

She's the one that stumbles when she talks about
The seven foreign films that she's checked out
Such a fortunate fool
She's just too good to be true
She's such a fortunate fool
She's just so mmm

She's got it all figured out
She knows what everything's about
And when anybody doubts her
Or sings songs about her
She's just so mmm

She's the one that stumbles when she talks about it
So maybe we shouldn't talk about
Such a fortunate fool
She's just too good to be true
She's such a fortunate fool
She's just so mmm

Here I am again trying to procrastinate. I have so much work to do, but I just don't want to do it. This week and next week are probably our busiest weeks of the entire year in my office, but I still want to procrastinate. I want to go home, snuggle up on the couch, and watch a great movie or read a book. I want to go shopping. I want to clean my house. I want to lay in bed all day and cuddle with my hubby. Really I want to do just about anything that doesn't involve being in my office or the big stack of papers on my desk. Of course, if I don't take care of it today, it will still be here tomorrow. I suppose I should just give in and get it done. If I actually work quickly, I can get enough done that I can take off on Friday for New Year's Eve. That should be enough incentive, but still I prefer to procrastinate.

I don't know why but every time I hear this song lately, my eyes get all teary.

Arms Wide Open-Creed

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I close my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

This year Christmas was a bit smaller around my house.  Which, as I said before, Christmas changes as you get older.  In my family that also means less gifts.  I'm not complaining about that though.  I have found that less gifts tends to mean more thoughtful gifts.  At least that's the way it seems to work for me.  This year I received a couple of gifts that I just absolutely love.  Not that I didn't like the others...just that these were very thoughtful gifts that meant a lot to me.

The very first gift I opened this year was a Red Sox World Series Championship t-shirt that my dad bought me when he was in Boston.  I was actually expecting the t-shirt because I had pretty much begged him for it.  What I didn't expect, was the matching little Red Sox baby bib that he also bought while he was there.  I almost cried when I opened it.  Ok, so maybe I'm a little over emotional right now, but I thought it was a wonderful gift!

The second gift I received that really meant a lot to me was a pregnancy journal from my sister-in-law.  We had a very brief IM conversation where I had mentioned that I wanted to start journaling about my pregnancy.  She picked right up on that and got me a journal to use.  I wish I would have started journaling as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I intend to go back through my blog and write in a few early entries.  I want to be able to someday pass this journal on to my child.

Well, I survived another Christmas.  It was actually pretty nice this year.  Christmas becomes so different when you are an adult.  Instead of getting excited about opening presents, I was excited about being with my family and having a couple of days to relax.

We spent Christmas Eve with my dad and his wife.  We had a nice dinner, went to the Christmas Eve service at church, then came back to his house to exchange gifts and visit.  We left there around 11:00 and headed over to my sister's house where we spent Christmas day.  Actually we ended up spending Christmas day and most of the day after there.  We were just too lazy to drive home Saturday night so we stayed another night. 

I did a lot of relaxing over the weekend, but I still feel like a need a day or two to recover.  I suppose it is hard to really relax when there are so many other people around.  At least this will be another short work week.

Dave Matthews Band--- Christmas Song

She was his girl; he was her boyfriend
She be his wife; take him as her husband
A surprise on the way, any day, any day
One healthy little giggling dribbling baby boy
The wise men came three made their way
To shower him with love
While he lay in the hay
Shower him with love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around
Not very much of his childhood was known
Kept his mother mary worried
Always out on his own
He met another Mary for a reasonable fee,
Less than
Reputable as known to be

His heart was full of love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around

When Jesus Christ was nailed to his tree
He said "oh, daddy-o I can see how it all soon will be
I came to shed a little light on this darkening scene
Instead I fear I spill the blood of my children all around"

The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around

So the story goes, so I'm told
The people he knew were
Less than golden hearted
Gamblers and robbers
Drinkers and jokers, all soul searches
Like you and me

Rumours insisted he soon would be
For his deviations
Taken into custody by the authorities
Less informed than he,
Drinkers and jokers, all soul searchers
Searching for love love love
Love love love
Love love is all around

Perparations were made
For his celebration day
He said "eat this bread and think of it as me
Drink this wine and dream it will be
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around
The blood of our children all around"

Father up above, why in all this anger have you filled
Me up with love
Fill me love love love
Love love
And the blood of our children all around

I can't believe that it is almost Christmas already.  The holiday spirit has been kinda coming and going with me.  One day I'll be really excited and happy and the next I'm all bah humbug!  I suppose it could be the pregnancy hormones doing it but who knows.  I've always been a bit of a grinch anyway.  I'm hoping that next year when I have a little one around Christmas will get more exciting.  It will be time for hubby and I to start creating some of our own holiday traditions and to stop letting others decide what we will be doing for the holidays.  Things get so complicated now that our families are growing so much.  Plus, with hubby's family all down in Alabama and Louisiana it is even more difficult.  In fact, this year we are not even going to be able to see his family which I know is going to be very hard on him.  He misses them so much around this time of year anyway.

What I am looking forward to, however, is being off work!  Tomorrow is our big office holiday party at noon and when it is over we all head home.  Then we are off for Christmas eve and again for New Year's eve.  Plus, I get my holiday bonus tomorrow at the party which makes it even better! 

I'm really excited to have a couple extra days off though.  Hubby and I are going to use some of that time to start re-arranging the furniture in the spare bedroom and guitar room (yes, we have a whole room for our guitars and equipment) to make room for baby stuff.  The spare bedroom is going to become the baby's room and the guitar room will become the spare bedroom/guitar room.  That room is gonna be a bit crowded, but it's about the only option we have.

Speaking of the baby...i'm now starting the second trimester which somewhat lowers the risk of losing the baby due to miscarriage, etc.  Not that I was extremely worried or anything, but with my health history you never can be too sure.  I'm very happy to get to this point and know that it's at least 1/3 of the way over with!  I've been feeling pretty good except for the fact that I'm not sleeping.  The morning sickness hasn't been too bad lately *knocking on wood* so that's a definite improvement.

Well, I suppose that's all the rambling I can do for now.  I expect to be rather busy over the next few days, so for those of you who are celebrating it.....

Merry Christmas!

I'm guilty.  I've been neglecting my blog the last few days.  Part of the reason is that I was working on a blog layout for a friend during my "extra" time at work.  The other part is that I just haven't had much to say.  I haven't been sleeping well lately and I've been rather cranky because of it.  I've been around, just not writing much.

So, I've seen that this quiz has been making the rounds here on tblog and I thought I would give it a shot.

Three names you go by: dee, deeders, aunt deedee
Three physical things you like about yourself: eyes, boobs, hair(on most days)
Three physical things you hate about yourself: hips, thighs, my itchy skin
Three parts of your heritage: cherokee, blackfoot, ???
Three things that scare you: seafood, losing my baby, dying violently
Three of your everyday essentials: coke, hair gel, a shower
Three things you are wearing right now: brown cords, sweater, my docs
Three of your favorite musical artists: Sarah McLachlan, Pearl Jam, Jack Johnson
Three of your favorite songs at present: uh...too tough to narrow it down
Three things you want in a relationship: honesty, romance, trust
Two truths and a lie (not in order): I love taking pictures.  I've always dreamed of being a prostitute.  I fall in love easily.
Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: eyes, lips, smile
Three things you just can't do: eat seafood, ski, ride a unicycle
Three of your favorite hobbies: web design, photography, blogging
Three things you want to do really badly right now: go back to bed, sleep all day, cuddle with my hubby
Three careers you are considering: web design, my current one, stay-at-home mom
Three places you want to go on vacation: Hawaii, Australia, European tour
Three kid's names: too tough of a question right now.  I have a list of about 20!
Three things you want to do before you die: have 2 kids, have grandkids, celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary

My boss just came in and told me that if I wanted to I could leave early so I could go see the baby.  But, I've been slacking off all day and haven't gotten a bit of work done so I gotta stay till I at least get the important stuff done!

I'll keep this short cause I'm exhausted right now, but I didn't know when I would have a chance to post tomorrow.  My sis had a beautiful baby boy this morning and I just have to share at least one picture.  I spent all day at the hospital with them.  The baby and mom are both doing great and expect to be going home on Saturday.  Now, to intoduce you.....

Ryan Matthew

**for some reason the pic doesn't want to show up.  if you can't see it, right-click on the red x and then click "show picture"

Sometime soon after 7:30 tomorrow morning, my little nephew will make his way into the world.  I'm so anxious I can't hardly stand it right now.  I know my sis is rushing around trying to get all the last minute preparations made.  I wish I could help her, but I'm sure I would just be in the way. 

I keep finding myself thinking about when my first nephew was born.  All the excitement and anticipation of getting that first look at him was just amazing.  Then when I finally did get to see him my heart just melted.  I   fell in love with that boy right then and there and he still has the same effect on me now, 5 years later.

I just want this day to hurry up and get over with so tomorrow can get here already.  I plan on taking tons of pictures with my new camera!  I'm sure I'll have some to post tomorrow night or Thursday.  It will be so fun having a new baby in the family again.  Then, in only six months I'll have one of my own.  I'm sure those six months are gonna just fly by!

I've spent all day with other people asking me "can you please do ________?" or "if you have some extra time could you __________?"  So, I've spent all day doing things for other people.  It is already 4:00 and I'm just now sitting down at my desk to do my work.  It's not that I mind so much doing things for others, but it does get a bit frustrating when I can't get my own stuff done because I'm doing stuff for them.

Of course I'm not concentrating very well today anyway cause I really want to play with my new camera.  I picked it up at lunch today and have been waiting for the battery to charge up so I can play with it.  I've been looking at it for several weeks now and finally decided to just buy it.  I really wanted to have it to take pictures when my sis has her baby on Wednesday.  Now I just hope I get a big enough Christmas bonus to cover what I paid for it!

I really hate being busy at work.  I've been having to help my mom work on some stuff in her office and don't get to have my computer and my nice desk to sit at.  That results in no time for tblog.  I'm really missing reading everyone's blogs lately.  I've missed having the time to write as well.  Hopefully I'll have some time to catch up this weekend.  I've been trying to sneak in visits to my favorites but haven't had time to even comment.  Anyway, I've got to get going again, but I just wanted to check in. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

Hubby and I went to the doctor this morning for my 12 week visit.  We got to listen to the baby's heartbeat which is just amazing.  The doc said that it sounds perfect and that she also could hear the baby moving around a bit, which is a good sign. 

It will be another 2 months or so until I get to have the sonogram done though.  She said that she likes to wait until 20-22 weeks so that she is able to check more details during the sonogram.  So, 2 more months of the baby being an "it". 

Right now June 22nd is seeming very far away, but I'm sure it will go by quickly.

So, I forgot to mention that there is another new addition to my family.  My cousin's wife gave birth to a little boy Sunday night.  I haven't seen any pictures yet.  I think he was about 3 weeks early.  She was supposed to be due just shortly after my sis.  Hopefully I'll have more info and some pictures soon!

I go to the doctor tomorrow for my 12-week check-up.  We should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat so I'm very anxious!  I just want the doc to tell me that everything is as it should be.  Hopefully I'll also get to schedule my sonogram for the next doctor's visit.  I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl!  Then I can start buying stuff and get my registry done so other people can buy me stuff!

Below is an e-mail I received this morning.  I'm posting it here because my hubby and I just recently had a discussion about the "true meaning" of the Christmas tree, and other symbols we use at Christmas time.  He is not very fond of Christmas trees and decorations, because he says it detracts from the true spirit and meaning of Christmas.  I disagree.  I think it adds to it.  This e-mail was a nice reminder of what all those things represent.

Teach The Chidren..
This is how it happened...I just finished the household chores for the night and was preparing to go to bed, when I heard a noise in the front of the house. I opened the door to the front room and to my surprise, Santa himself stepped out from behind the Christmas tree.

He placed his finger over his mouth so I would not cry out. "What are you doing?" I started to ask. The words choked up in my throat, and I saw he had tears in his eyes. His usual jolly manner was gone. Gone was the eager, boisterous soul we all know.

He then answered me with a simple statement.
"TEACH THE CHILDREN!"

I was puzzled; what did he mean? He anticipated my question, and with one quick movement brought forth a miniature toy bag from behind the tree. As I stood bewildered, Santa said,
"Teach the children! Teach them the old meaning of Christmas. The meaning that now-a-days Christmas has forgotten."

Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a FIR TREE and placed it before the mantle.
"Teach the children that the pure green color of the stately fir tree remains green all year round, depicting the everlasting hope of mankind, all the needles point heavenward, making it a symbol of man's thoughts turning toward heaven."

He again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant STAR.
"Teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of promises long ago. God promised a Savior for the world, and the star was the sign of fulfillment of His promise."

He then reached into his bag and pulled out a CANDLE.
"Teach the children that the candle symbolizes that Christ is the light of the world, and when we see this great light we are reminded of He who displaces the darkness."

Once again he reached into his bag and removed a WREATH and placed it on the tree.
"Teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the real nature of love. Real love never ceases. Love is one continuous round of affection."

He then pulled from his bag an ornament of himself.
"Teach the children that I, Santa Clause symbolize the generosity and good will we feel during the month of December."

He then brought out a HOLLY LEAF.
"Teach the children that the holly plant represents immortality. It represents the crown of thorns worn by our Savior. The red holly represents the blood shed by Him."

Next he pulled from his bag a GIFT and said,
"Teach the children that God so loved the world that HE gave HIS begotten SON..." "Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift.

"Teach the children that the wise men bowed before the Holy BABE and presented HIM with gold, frankincense and myrrh. We should always give gifts in the same spirit of the wise men."

Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a CANDY CANE and hung it on the tree.
"Teach the children that the candy cane represents the shepherds' crook. The crook on the staff helps to bring back strayed sheep to the flock. The candy cane is the symbol that we are our brother's keeper."


He reached in again and pulled out an ANGEL.
"Teach the children that it was the angels that heralded in the glorious news of the Savior's birth. The angels sang 'Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace and good will toward men."

Suddenly I heard a soft twinkling sound, and from his bag he pulled out a BELL.
"Teach the children that as the lost sheep are found by the sound of the bell, it should ring mankind to the fold. The bell symbolizes guidance and return."

Santa looked back and was pleased. He looked back at me and I saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes. He said,
"Remember, teach the children the true meaning of Christmas and do not put me in the center, for I am but an humble servant of the One that is, and I bow down to worship HIM, our LORD, our GOD."

Today has been a pretty good day.  In fact, if I wasn't at work, I would say it's been the best day I've had in a while.  I'm still sick, but starting to feel a bit better.

This morning I bought my Sarah McLachlan tickets.  One of the local radio stations is having a pre-sale so I was able to get them a little early.  I can't wait for the show!

Shortly after that, the bad boss (who isn't really my boss anymore) came in and asked me if I wanted to make a little extra money.  I'm always up for that, so I asked him what I would be doing.  Apparently a friend/business partner of his had been to our company website and liked it.  He is currently looking into starting up a site for his company and asked if I would be interested in doing it.  So, I've got to call this guy and see what exactly they are wanting, but I should be able to make at least a little cash doing it.

Then at lunch my mom and I decided to make a trip to Target.  So, of course I went to the maternity section cause my clothes are starting to get pretty tight around the belly.  I ended up finding a pair of pants and three shirts that I liked all pretty cheap.  Then my mom bought me another pair of pants and 2 more shirts.  They are part of my Christmas present so I won't get to have them for a while, but I'm sure I can get by until then.  It's a little frustrating right now because there are so many cute clothes out that I can't buy right now, but it is still fun to buy maternity clothes.  At least it gives me a good excuse to go shopping!  Shopping always makes me happy no matter what I'm buying. 

Pardon my excitement, but I just found out that Sarah McLachlan is coming to KC for a show on April 30th.  She is my absolute favorite female musician.  I haven't gotten to see her in concert since the last Lillith Fair so I'm pretty pumped up.  I don't know how I missed the announcement, but I just found out and tickets go on sale Saturday.  Woohoo!  I'm so excited right now!

Time for yet another template change.  I guess the snow this last week inspired me. 

Unfortunately, it hasn't inspired me to write.  I just haven't been much into blogging lately.  I suppose my real life has just been more interesting lately than the online portion of my life. 

Today marks the 11 week point of my pregnancy.  The morning sickness seems to be letting up a bit but I can't really appreciate it much with this nasty cold I have right now.  I go back to the doctor next week and I'm looking forward to being able to hear the baby's heartbeat.

My sister has only 2 weeks left before she has her little boy.  At her doctor's appointment this week, she was told that the baby is already about 7 1/2 pounds.  By the time she has her c-section on the 15th, he should be at least 8 pounds.  We're all getting pretty excited to see him!