drifting away...

I am definitely feeling the Monday blahs today.  I would love to be absolutely anywhere but at work.  I did get quite a bit done this morning, but now I'm ready to get out of here.

While my mom and I were at lunch today my boss called and told us to come by his house on our way back.  He had a couple of boxes of old toys that belonged to his kids he was wanting to get rid of.  He wanted me to go through them and pick out anything that I wanted.  There were a lot of stuffed toys that I didn't have much interest in, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, I picked out some of the better ones and put in a bag to take with me.  He gave my mom a big stack of cartoon and kids movies for he grandkids, and then gave me a Graco jogging stroller.  The stroller needs to be cleaned up a bit and maybe a few screws tightened, but it really is in pretty good shape.  It was nice of him to think of me before throwing the stuff away.

Friday afternoon I had a sudden creative spark and came up with a new design for my personal website.  I've been dying to get a couple hours at home alone with my laptop so I can develop it.  With the in-laws there all weekend I really didn't get much of a chance to do anything with it.  I worked on it for about 30 minutes while they laid down to rest Saturday afternoon, but I didn't get very far.  If I can manage to stay awake long enough tonight, maybe I'll work on it for a bit.  My poor website is in rather sad shape right now.  I haven't been putting much time into it at all lately.

The weekend is over and I'm exhausted!  We had a great visit with the in-laws and really enjoyed having them here.  They bought us a crib and mattress for the baby and helped put it all together.  Now I'm anxious to get the crib bedding and start decorating the room a bit. 

The in-laws were up and gone before I even woke up this morning.  I thought they had planned on staying until tomorrow, but ended up having to leave today because pa-in-law has to be back at work Wed. and they have a long drive back.  In a way I'm glad they left this morning.  As tired as I am right now, I'm just not sure I would be up for entertaining tonight.

Hubby called a little bit ago to let me know that his parents have arrived.  He said that they had been at the house for about 45 minutes and his mom was already cooking dinner.  For once I will get to find out what it's like to walk in the door and have dinner on the table waiting for me.  How nice is that?

I really am blessed to have such amazing in-laws.  I actually look forward to their visits.  Part of that could be because it is only a couple times a year that they come up.  Or, part of it could be the fact that when hubby's mom is here she does all of the cooking, cleaning up, and laundry and sometimes even vacuums and sweeps my floors.  I've asked her not to do so much because it makes me feel bad, but she says she enjoys doing it and likes giving me a break for a few days.  And I sure do enjoy that break!  It is nice to be able to just sit back and relax and not have to worry about cooking and cleaning and entertaining when they are here.

I really hate having to be at work when they are here though.  I'm ready to get home and visit with them.  Plus, it bugs me a little to have people at my house when I'm not there.  Hopefully hubby will get off and be able to get home soon.  I can't even leave early cause I loaned my car to my brother and I have no way to get home until he brings my car back at 5:00.  Anyway, I'm just blabbing now.  I should stop.

Lastnight I got a phone call from my mom.  It went pretty much like this:

Me: Hello
Mom: Hi.  Tell me how much you love me.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because I just did something really good for you.
Me: What did you do?
Mom: I just talked *boss man* into giving you a 5% raise.
Me: Really?
Mom: Yep.  Now don't you want to tell me how much you love me now?

The conversation went on from there, but I don't want to bore you with the details.  But I am super happy that I got a raise.  I was really due for it in January, but didn't expect a raise this year due to some recent developments within the company. 

With this raise and hubby's promotion and raise this week we will be in much better shape to pay for baby expenses.  It really couldn't have come at a better time.

I just discovered that I'm back on the hot blogs list.  It's been a while since I've been there...at least that I know of.

I'm about to scratch the freaking skin off of my arms!  I wrote a few weeks ago about my hives that I thought I had on my arms.  My OB's nurse told me at the time (over the phone) that it was most likely not pregnancy related and that if it didn't go away soon to go see my regular doctor.  It did seem to be getting a little bit better, so I figured she was right.  At my next OB visit, my doc was out sick so I saw another doctor instead.  She looked at my arms and said that it most likely was a common rash that can be caused by pregnancy and that it would not go away until after the baby is born.  Basically, I just had to deal with it.  It did seem to be getting better for another week or so, but then the last couple days my arms have started breaking out again and itching like crazy.  I feel like I could spend all day just scratching at my arms.  It's not the kind of itch that you can just scratch and it goes away.  It is constant!  I scratch and scratch and scratch and it just keeps itching.  I just want the itching to go away.  I've tried everything I can think of to make it stop and it just isn't working.  I'm about ready to call a dermatologist and make an appointment to see if there is anything they can do to help my situation.  The itching is driving me insane! 

I still itch but I do feel better now that I've at least bitched about it to someone other than myself!

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

Hubby found out yesterday that he got a promotion!  I am so proud of him.  He put in for it a few weeks ago and has been waiting for the final word.  He was up against 5 other people for the position so we weren't really sure how it would turn out, but he got it.  So, with the promotion he gets a dollar an hour raise and a little bit more responsibility.  He was really trying to downplay the whole thing, but I know deep down he really wanted this job and I am so happy that he got it.  Plus, the extra money will really help out a lot.

I had a pretty good weekend.  Friday afternoon I got off work really early, so I decided to stop by the mall for a while.  Hubby had wanted to get me a watch for my birthday, but wanted to let me pick it out.  So, while I was at the mall I stopped by the Fossil store and got my watch, which I love! Friday night hubby and I decided to just stay home and watch some movies.  It was nice not to have to go anywhere.

Saturday we helped my brother move, which went pretty well.  We were all exhausted by the end of the day, but I know my brother appreciated the help.  He has a great new apartment and it's just a little bit closer to the rest of us than he was before.

Sunday was pretty good as well.  I got up and went to church, had dinner with my family, took a nap, then cleaned my basement.  Nothing too exciting.

We finally got word that the in-laws will be arriving on Thursday.  They had been dabating on whether they would fly or drive here, but in the end decided to drive.  That means I have one more day to get my house clean before they get here.  I am really looking forward to their visit, but it takes so much energy to get ready for it!

Ahhhhh.....Friday is finally here.  Tonight I get to relax, then the rest of the weekend I'm gonna work my ass off.  My brother and his fiance are moving into a new apartment this weekend, so Saturday is going to be taken up helping them.  Fortunately, I won't be able to lift a whole lot so I have been informed that I get to watch my little nephew while my sis helps with the moving.  I can handle that!  I imagine I'll get roped into helping a bit as well.  I can at least help them clean some stuff when they get the boxes and furniture moved out.

After we get my brother moved, I get to spend the rest of my weekend trying to clean my house.  The in-laws will be here at the end of next week, so I've got to get everything looking good.  I don't want them to be disgusted at how I keep my house.  It's really not in very good shape right now because I haven't had the energy to keep up with it lately.  Hopefully hubby will help me out without complaining too much.

By Monday I imagine I will be completely exhausted, but I'm not going to dwell on that today because it's FRIDAY!  My mom stayed home sick yesterday and still didn't sound very good today so I'm hoping she decides to stay home again.  If she's not here the boss man won't stick around for long (if he shows up at all) which most likely means I get to leave early.  That's always a good way to start the weekend out!

I was tired of the snowman, so until I get energized enough to come up with something new, this is similar to a template I saw on elementopia a while back.  I elected to "borrow" the flower image until I come up with something better.  I'm in the mood for some flowery, springy type of layout.  I want to be creative, but it's just not coming to me.  It's time for a totally new layout.  I'm bored with the whole box thing.  Maybe soon...

I know I've been posting a lot of lyrics lately, but hey, it's my blog, I can post what I want. I've had a thing for this song since the first time I heard it. I've recently found a new appreciation for Tori Amos as well. I never was a huge fan of hers until a good friend of mine introduced me to her. I listened to her for a while then put the cd's away, forgetting that I even had them. Every so often I pull them out again and give her a listen. Every time it seems a different song speaks to me.

Silent All These Years-Tori Amos

excuse me but
can i be you for a while
my DOG won't bite
if you sit real still
i got the anti-christ
in the kitchen
yellin' at me again
yeah i can hear that

been saved again
by the garbage truck
i got something to say
you know but NOTHING comes
yes i know what you think of me
you never shut up
yeah i can hear that

but what if i'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his
with her name still on it
hey but i don't care
cause sometimes i said
sometimes i hear my voice
and it's been
HERE silent all these years

so you found a girl
who thinks really deep thoughts
what's so amazing
about really deep thoughts
boy you best pray
that i bleed real soon
how's that thought for you

my scream got lost in a paper cup
you think there's a heaven
where some screams have gone
i got 25 bucks and a cracker
do you think it's enough
to get us there

but what if i'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his
with her name still on it
hey but i don't care
cause sometimes i said
sometimes i hear my voice and it's been
HERE silent all these

years go by will i still be waiting
for somebody else to understand
years go by if i'm stripped of my beauty
and the orange clouds raining in my head
years go by will i choke on my tears
till finally there is nothing left
one more casualty
you know we're to EASY easy easy

well i love the way we communicate
your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
let's hear what you think of me now
but baby don't look up
the sky is falling

your MOTHER shows up in a nasty dress
it's your turn now to stand where i stand
everybody lookin' at you
here take hold of my hand
yeah i can hear them

but what if i'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on it
hey but i don't care
cause sometimes i said
sometimes i hear my voice
i hear my voice
i hear my voice
and it's been HERE silent all these years
i've been here silent all these years
silent all these
silent all these years

I've been posting pics of my belly on my personal web site for my in-laws to see since they are so far away. For some reason they really like to see my big belly so I've been instructed that I must take pictures every few weeks to appease them. Even though my mother-in-law and father-in-law will be here for a visit in another week or so, I figured it was about time for another picture. I'm really amazed at how quickly it is growing now. Not only is my belly growing at amazing speeds, but my boobs have become massive! I won't go into detail about the boobs, but lets just say my hubby is very intrigued by them these days. Anyway, I thought I would share my most recent pic.

I was clearing some pics off of my digital camera tonight and ran across these.  I took these a few weeks ago.  My kitty loves to hide underneath blankets, but I was surprised to walk in and find her under the couch cushions!

I've actually been working hard today.  It's amazing how quickly the day can go by when you are keeping busy!  But, it's definitely time for a break.  I can only spend so much time with my head full of management agreements, insurance requirements and tenants that don't want to pay their rent.  I'm ready to switch gears and do some mindless tasks for the next hour or so before I can get out of here.  Plus, I fugured it was about time for another stop by tblog.

I've been listening to Joss Stone all day.  Her voice kinda pulls me in.  I have to be just in the right mood to listen to her, but apparently today was one of those moods.  She really is amazing.  If you haven't given her a chance you should really check her out. 

My taste in music has certainly been changing lately.  I suppose it corresponds to my mood.  I've been listening to very mellow music lately.  I've really been enjoying anything with just a simple piano or guitar melody behind it.  My brother-in-law managed to get us 4 tickets to a Motley Crue concert next month for only $75, but I just can't get the least bit excited about it.  I'm usually up for just about any concert, but this one I'm just not excited about.  But, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm making hubby go to Sarah McLachlan with me, so I can do this for him.  Hopefully we'll at least have decent seats so I can sit and not have to stand up the whole time with my massive belly.  Ah, the things you do for love sometimes.

I suppose I should get back to work.  Only 55 more minutes and I can head home...

I heard this song this morning and really liked it. There was a time in my life when I felt exactly like this...

Joss Stone-Spoiled

I kinda thought that I'd be better off by myself
I've never been so wrong before
You made it impossible for me to ever
Love somebody else
And now I don't know what I left you for

See I thought that I could replace you
He can't love me the way you do
'Till now I never knew
Baby

Chorus:
I'm spoiled
By your love boy
No matter how I try to change my mind
What's the point it's just a waste of time
I'm spoiled by your touch boy
The love you give is just too hard to fight
Don't want to live without you in my life
I'm spoiled

I tried to tell myself that I'd be over you in a week or two
But baby that was 'bout a year ago
I've never seen the word love so personified as I do with you
And that is why I just can't let go, oh no

Chorus

Spoil me

And I would only be fooling myself if I tried to
Believe there's room for someone else in my heart
There ain't no way I'm getting over you
I don't know what I've been trying to prove
I'm hopeless, helpless when it comes to you

Chorus

I've been spoiled yeah yeah

lack·a·dai·si·cal&nbs p; (lk-dz-kl)
ADJECTIVE: Lacking spirit, liveliness, or interest; languid

This pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today.  In fact, I've been feeling this way a lot lately.  I'm not unhappy.  I just feel like there is an energy or something missing.  I am totally unmotivated to do anything.  I'm extremely unmotivated at work.  Part of that is because it's very slow right now and I don't have much to do, but the other part is that I just don't care.  I'm even more unmotivated when I get home.  I would rather lay on the couch and watch tv than do anything else.  There are plenty of things that I want and need to do, I just don't have the motivation to actually get up and do them.  I'm even missing my creative spark that I usually have.  I've promised some new web site designs to a couple of people, but I just can't seem to come up with anything.

I see the results of this mood all around me, but I can't seem to find a solution.  My house is a mess.  My husband is bitchy (not too bad, but I can tell it is affecting him).  I can even see it in my writing.  When I read back over my recent blog entries they just seem to be missing something.

I don't really know what is causing it, therefore I can't find a solution.  I can only blame so much on being tired and pregnant.  I need to find a way to rejuvenate myself and boost up my energy levels.  I have to find some motivation.  I only have a week and a half to get my house clean before my in-laws come to visit.  I have so many projects and things I want to get done, but I just can't make myself do them.  I need to reach way down and find that piece of myself that seems to be missing. 

Yesterday was a good day.  It wasn't a real romantic kind of Valentine's day for me, but I didn't really mind that.  Hubby had already given me my Valentine's gift on my birthday, but I did have a card waiting by my purse when I got up.  We didn't make any plans to go out.  In fact I asked him if we could just stay home.  Last week was so busy I just didn't feel like getting out.

The nicest part of yesterday for me was actually the weather.  After a rainy weekend, it was sunny and warm yesterday.  I got to have lunch with my friend Amy who was in town for a brief visit.  When I got back to work after lunch, my boss called and told us to take the rest of the day off and enjoy the nice weather.  That was a very nice surprise!  So, I was able to get ahold of Amy and hang out for another hour or so before she had to get to the airport.  I got home a little after 3:00 and spent the rest of the afternoon just relaxing.  It was quite enjoyable.

Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through
Through this world without having you, I just wouldn't have a clue
'Cos sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free, and then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright

When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rain
When I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do, it's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling, I don't feel it, 'cos you're here with me now
And one look at you baby, is all I'll ever need, it's all I'll ever need

When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rain
When I see you smile, baby, baby when I see you smile at me

Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright
So right

When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rain, yeah
When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, oh yeah, baby when I see you smile, smile at me

--Bad English

Turn Me On-Norah Jones

Like a flower
Waiting to bloom
Like a lightbulb
In a dark room
I'm just sittin' here
Waitin' for you to come on home
And turn me on

Like the desert
Waitin' for rain
Like a schoolkid
Waitin' for the spring
I'm just sittin' here
Waitin' for you to come on home
And turn me on

My poor heart
Has been so dark
Since you've been gone
Afterall
You're the one who turns me off
And you're the only one who can
Turn me back on

Like headphones waitin'
For a new tune
The glass is waitin'
For some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sittin' here
Waitin' for you to come on home
And turn me on
Turn me on

After eating a nice healthy salad for lunch, I returned to the office to have not 1, but 2 slices of very yummy, creamy cheesecake.  And I enjoyed every single bite of it! 

I just found out that another tblogger is having a birthday today. It is DutchessRuthine's birthday as well. And, it is an extra special day for her because she has a brand new niece that was born this morning.

Reading her blog also reminded me of a couple of friends I have had in my life that share my birthday also. So, Happy Birthday to Ryan and Monica wherever you are these days!

Update: I am going to end up having to work a little bit after all. I have to go get the mail and sort it. And I'm running out of things to do to make myself look like I'm working so if anyone has any suggestions, lay it on me!

Happy Birthday to me!  As of 5:15 p.m. I will officially be 27 years old.  Yipee!  Actually this is about the most low-key birthday I have ever had.  I just can't seem to get very excited about it.  Maybe the excitement of the baby is overshadowing it this year.  I'm not really sure, but it just doesn't seem all that important to me.

I think that it should be a new workplace rule that everybody should get the day off for their birthday.  My mom and I discussed this earlier this week.  Seriously, who wants to work on their birthday?  My boss always manages to take off for his, so I think he should let the rest of us off also.

So, since I think I should have the day off today, I'm just not working.  It's 10:32 and I haven't managed to do anything work related so far.  My goal is to get through the whole day and not do any work.  We'll see how that goes.

I was wondering this morning why birthdays always seem to revolve around food.  My dad took me out to dinner lastnight for my birthday (which was very nice of him).  Today for lunch the girls in the office are all going out to celebrate my birthday and my mom's.  Tonight hubby and I are going out with my mom.  Tomorrow for lunch a friend is taking my mom and I out for our birthdays.  Then, Sunday night we're going out to eat yet again with my brother and sister for my birthday.  It will be nice that I don't have to cook, but just thinking about all the food is making my stomach hurt already!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful day.  I plan on making it very relaxing for myself (and doing everything I can NOT to work today).

It's a BOY!  I was really hoping for a girl, but hubby was really hoping for a boy so he is very excited now!  The sonogram went just fine and everything was as expected.  They said that my due date seems to be right on target.  I won't bore you with all the pictures, but here's one where you can see the boy parts sticking out between the legs.  Just look for the red arrow!

So, now that we know what it is we are finally telling everyone what the name is (cause I'm tired of explaining why we don't want to tell).  His name is going to be Zachary Michael.  Now I'm ready to go start making my baby registries and buying little boy stuff.  Of course, I won't have to buy much cause my sis will surely pass things down to me!

When did mother nature become such a tease?  Even though this winter hasn't really been that bad, it has certainly been frustrating.  We'll have a couple weeks of cold, dreary weather.  Then it will warm up and be bright and sunny for a couple days only to cool back down again.  Friday and Saturday were beautiful and sunny.  I think we even hit 60 degrees on Saturday.  Then Sunday it was rainy all day.  Monday it was just cold and dreary and today we're supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow.  Mother nature really just needs to make up her mind.  If it's gonna snow and be cold, just let it happen and get it over with.  Don't tease us with these beautiful sunny days.  Once you've gotten the cold out of your system, let us have the sunny days and keep them for a while.  Don't take them away when we are just starting to enjoy them!  Please quit being such a tease!

Artist: Old 97's
Album: Wreck Your Life
Title: Old Familiar Steam


By the time you leave
I'll be saving all my green
For a homebound train to carry me
On old familiar steam.

I wish you'd hurry up,
And leave or come around.
Well the moon is waning hard tonight.
I 'm leaving my home town.

And the train rolls on with no pilot.
And the station's left me i know.
But if you should happen to find it,
Please bring it home, bring it home.

I traded all my stops
For a pillow made of rails.
In an empty room i listen to
The lonely whistle wails.

I woke up to feet,
That i took to be your shoes,
And the train lay tracks that deafened me,
Shook my insides loose.

And the train rolls on with no pilot,
And the station's left me i know.
But if you should happen to find it,
Please bring it home, bring it home.

And the point of all this living,
Is the dying still to come.
And i could be forgiven,
But i just won't, i just won't.

So, the Pats won the Super Bowl again.  Good for them I say.  Being a Cowboys fan my entire life, I can appreciate how good the Pats fans must be feeling to see thier team win the 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years.  I remember the good old days of the 90's when the Cowboys were on a winning streak...

My birthday/super bowl party went pretty well, but I will definitely not be hosting any more parties at my house for a while.  The whole day just really exhausted me.  I tried really hard not to be grumpy or complain, but my family is usually really good about pitching in and helping out with the cooking, cleaning, etc. when we all get together.  Yesterday, everyone must have just been feeling lazy because I ended up doing almost everything myself.  My sis did eventually come in the kitchen and help a little bit, but I still felt a little slighted I guess.  I know I chose to have the party at my house, but I really did expect a little more help.  As it turned out, I saw very little of the Super Bowl at all.  I spent most of the day in the kitchen either cooking or cleaning up after everyone else.  I barely even got to visit with my family which was pretty frustrating.

However, even if I was pissy, things did go pretty well for everyone else.  I think everyone had a great time.  My mom really enjoyed the party.  We ended up getting her a few little joke gifts and a really nice amethyst/diamond jewelry set that she loved.  My sis brought over a really yummy chocolate cake that she made.  Plus, my brother and his fiance gave me a really cute Old Navy maternity top for my birthday.  I wasn't expecting anything from them, so I thought it was very nice and thoughtful.

Now I'm just ready for Monday to be over so I can go back home and sleep!  I've had to be very careful today that I don't fall asleep in at my desk.  The office is very quiet and when you combine that with the Norah Jones music I'm listening to it would be very easy to just drift off to sleep...

Well, the Benadryl worked lastnight.  Either that or my poor body was just so exhausted from not sleeping the night before that it finally caved in.  I slept like a baby and woke up refreshed (after I got through the initial fogginess of such a deep sleep).  I'm very happy today.  I'm so glad it's friday and I'm very much looking forward to the weekend.  I'm really looking forward to Sunday and the Super Bowl/Birthday party we are having at my house.  It will wear me out but I love being around all of my family.  Plus, hopefully I'll get some presents even though my birthday isn't until Thursday.  I still have yet to figure out a gift for my mom.  Her 50th birthday is Sunday and I'm trying to come up with a great gift but I just can't figure out what to get her.  Any suggestions would be welcome.  I think the party Sunday will be a great beginning to an exciting week next week.  I can't wait for my ultrasound on Wednesday and then my birthday on Thursday. 

I suppose I should go get some work done.  I'm hoping to get to leave early today and the chances are looking good because I really don't have much to do.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  Go Pats!!!

Dear God,

Thank you for giving us Friday afternoons and weekends.  I don't know what I would do without them. 

Sincerely,
Hardtoimagine

The last few weeks I have been itching uncontrollably.  I've read that when you are pregnant your skin can become very dry, so I just assumed that the itchiness was due to dry skin.  The last few days I started noticing some nasty looking red bumps on my arms after I scratch at them.  I was complaining to my mom about my itchiness so she took a look at my arms and with one glance, she knew what it was....I have hives. 

I used to get hives quite often when I was a kid and my mom said that it still looks just like it did when I was younger.  So, I call my doc up to see what I should do about it.  She told me to take some Benadryl at night when I go to bed and during the day if I can handle it.  Also, she told me to cut out any milk or dairy that I'm consuming to see if that is the cause of the hives.  I've been trying to drink a lot of milk lately for the extra calcium, but normally I don't drink milk at all.  It is the only thing I can think of that has changed lately.

So, I got ready for bed lastnight and took my Benadryl thinking that I would get a really good night's sleep because the Benadryl usually knocks me out for hours even if I just take 25mg.  Lastnight I took 50mg.  I laid down looking forward to a nice sound sleep.  It took me hours to actually fall asleep.  When I did finally fall asleep, it wasn't for long.  I think I woke up about every 20-30 minutes all night.  By 6:00 this morning I was wide awake.  I laid in bed for another hour because there was no way in hell I was going to get up before I had to.  I finally submitted and crawled out of bed around 7:00 and got ready for work.  For the first time in probably several months I was actually at work *almost* on time.

Now I've spent the greater part of the day trying to keep myself awake.  I'm so ready to take a nap, but if I do that I probably won't sleep again tonight.  Maybe I could just keep myself awake by scratching...

I went to Target at lunch today and as I was strolling down the Valentine's Day candy section, I spotted Dove chocolates with caramel.  They looked too good to pass up so I bought a small bag of them and let me tell ya...these things are the closest thing to heaven that I can imagine! 

I got contacted a few days ago by a person from the high school I graduated from asking me if I would be interested in having a 10-year reunion and if I would be interested in helping to plan it.  Now, this might seem like a pretty normal thing for most people, but to me is just seems kinda strange.  I only attended the school I graduated from for two years.  I moved the summer before my Junior year and had to start a new school.  It was a college preparatory school (which was a total joke) so when I switched I was a bit behind in some of the classes and others I had taken in a different order than what they offered.  Therefore, I ended up having almost all of my classes with the sophomores rather than the Juniors that year.  So, because of that, all of the friends I made at that school were a year younger than me.  I really never got to know anyone that was in my graduating class and the ones I did know I didn't care for much.  As far as I know there really wasn't anyone in my class that cared much for me either.  So, I was a little surprised to get the e-mail about the reunion.  I find it funny that anyone would even want me there in the first place.  The only people I would really enjoy seeing would be a couple of girls that I played volleyball with.  I find it rather funny that anyone would even want me involved in the reunion at all.

What would I do without the internet?  Seriously, I never in all of my life would have imagined that I would be so obsessed and intrigued with the internet.  I remember when we first got internet at my house.  My mom has always been a bit of a computer geek so we were the first (at least in my small group of friends) family I knew of that had the internet.  I can remember my mom telling me about it and explaining how it connected our home computer with other computers around the world.  At the time my brain just couldn't fathom how that could possibly work.  I didn't really have much use for it at the time and there was no way I would be allowed to get on there and play since it cost like a million bucks a month for 20 minutes online.  Besides I certainly didn't want to touch the computer unless I had to type a paper for school anyway!

Once I got to high school things started changing.  The internet was becoming a bit more common, although most people I knew still didn't have it.  My mom was really getting into e-mailing her fellow computer geeks and I thought that was really cool.  Eventually she set up an e-mail address for me but I never used it because no one else I knew had an e-mail address.  As I got into my Junior and Senior year of high school I started using the internet to do research for papers.  It was nice not to have to go to the library, but still wasn't much fun since it was homework related!

It wasn't until I got to college that I finally found a good use for the internet.  I finally had someone to e-mail.  Instead of paying long distance charges to call home I could just e-mail my mom and dad.  We also had this dinosaur computer network called VAX that connected all the computers on campus.  Each dorm room had one in it, so we could use that to e-mail anyone on campus.  At first I thought it was really cool that we had unlimited use of the internet through the VAX computers until my roommate discovered chat rooms.  She would sit up at all hours of the night clicking away on the keyboard talking to anyone and everyone that she could.  She also had this wonderful habit of laughing or talking out loud while she was on there so it was usually next to impossible to actually get a good night's sleep.

After my freshman year of college it was time to move off campus.  I got married that summer and my new husband and I bought our first computer.  We really needed the internet to be able to keep up with our school's "electronic campus" so I found an ISP in town and paid a ridiculous price for a very slow dial-up connection.  Once I had my very own computer I started really enjoying the freedom to use the internet whenever I wanted.  I loved having e-mail and soon discovered instant messaging.  I connected with a few old high school friends that I had been missing which was really great.  My husband discovered internet porn which was not so great.  I started learning more and more about using the internet in my classes at school.  By the time I graduated from college I thought I was somewhat knowledgeable about computers and the internet but I had never been so wrong!

I graduated from college and simultaneously left my husband.  I was ready to be on my own and at the time I couldn't seem to fit him into my plan.  I moved to the big city and settled into a cheap apartment.  Once I was on my own I got bored very quickly.  I spent most of my evenings and days off sitting on a chair in front of the computer.  I visted chat rooms, intant messaged various people, and just surfed the web for hours at a time.  It was at times my only connection with the outside world.  One day I saw an ad offering your own domain name at a very cheap price.  I started thinking about it and thought it would be kinda fun to have my own web site.  I didn't have any idea what I was going to do with it, but I went ahead and purchased a domain.  I didn't do anything with it right away.  In fact, it was almost two years before I ever put anything up on the web.

Eventually, I started teaching myself a little bit of html.  I got a copy of a web-editing program and put together my first web page.  By then I had upgraded and gotten spoiled to having a cable modem.  I was constantly re-doing my website and changing things around.  I also re-designed my company's web site.  Before long I had about 3 web sites going.  I was content with these for a while, but constantly craving for more knowledge.  Before long I was introduced to blogging.  I wasn't real sure about it at first.  I was kind of keeping a blog on my website, but I was having to manually put in each entry and then upload the page to the web.  I started hearing more and more about blogs and how easy it was to publish each post.  So, I decided it was time to look into it a bit more.  My first search for "blog" popped up both Tblog and Blogger.  Tblog seemed easier so I decided to sign up.  If you look at some of my first entries, I had absolutely no idea what to say on a blog.  Before long, it just started flowing.

I've now been blogging for over a year as well as trying to keep up with my other web sites.  I currently have 3 blogs running and 5 websites that I maintain, not to mention the list of about 25 blogs that I read almost every day.  I'm still completely addicted to instant messaging and have several different e-mail addresses that I check everyday.  The internet has become not only a hobby but a way of life for me.  I can manage to go a day or two without checking in, but that very rarely ever happens.  Even when I travel I always have my laptop with me.  I never would have thought that the internet would have evolved into what it is today or that I would be so hooked on it.